Alaska: Family Oriented AF!

Way to go Alaska...just another transphobic law from another stupid red-state shit-huh? Wait, they didn't pass the-? And I'm a total jerk for just assuming that they did? Sorry Alaska...I just sort of figured you guys would do something, you know...So what was I talking about?

Oh, and sorry I suggested that we sell you back to Russia. Huh?
Didn't I? Because I thought it and it sounds like something I'd say.

"Ugh...families. I sure do hate them
and everything they stand for..."

-The left, according to the right

Oh right, in a stunning reversal of expectations, voters in Alaska said 'nope' to a stupid horseshit ballot initiative that would have forced transgender Alaskans to use the bathroom assigned to the gender on their birth certificate. A measure I can only imagine was written by people who are completely unclear as to what transgender means. You know, transphobic idiots. Probably a whole bunch of them, likely going by some innocuous, wholesome sounding name with the word 'family' in it so as to suggest that if you oppose their platform you must hate families or something.

Unsurprisingly that's exactly what they're called. The group, Alaska Family Action, put together the proposed-wait...Alaska Family Action? Really? Maybe it's because I think they're terrible people for spending all this time and money on something as hateful as this ridiculous bathroom bill nonsense, but does that name sound a little...I don't know, unintentionally hilarious to anyone else? 

Above: Some Alaska Family Action.
What? Right, I'm the asshole here...

Bears and wolves who, incidentally,
also want to watch you pee.

Just me then? That's fine. Anyway, as you can imagine, AFA is just family oriented AF. And of course by 'family oriented' I mean ridiculously focused on trans people and how they're everywhere and will stop at nothing to watch you pee. Seriously. Half their gross website is devoted to outrage over sexual orientation and gender identity issues and exactly none of it is based on anything other than ignorant trans/homo/everythingphobia. All of which is totally bizarre given how much of Alaska is overrun with actual threats like bears and wolves.

Kind of wish they'd have come to their senses
 a little earlier, but hey progress is progress.

Historically, I find myself ranting against the wisdom of ballot initiatives, especially when they put people's civil rights up for a show of hands. And while I maintain that they kind run counter to a representative democracy, I guess I can't complain when the good guys win. In this case 53 percent which is just about the same percentage that voted for Donald Trump. There probably wasn't that much overlap, but it does suggest that at least some Alaskan conservatives are capable of moving past bullshit politics and making the right call.

So congratulations people of Alaska! I'm now removing your state from my list of states we should sell back to whomever we bought/stole them from and on to the list of states we just probably shouldn't let vote. I'm kidding, of course, but seriously, maybe next election try not to make an insane choice? The rest of the country would really appreciate it.

"Désolé, but no returns after thirty days."

-Napoleon, citing the fine print 

on the Louisiana Purchase