Amiright Drew?

Hey, you know what shouldn't be hard for a couple of grown ass adults to do? Enjoy a play. And yet here we are, talking about Lauren Boebert.

Pictured: local news footage of some idiot causing a
disturbance and being escorted out of a theatre.

Although somehow I feel like being rude at
the theatre is low on the list of ways Lauren
Boebert has disappointed John Locke.

Yup, that's U.S. Representative Lauren Boebert and an unidentified companion being asked to leave a performance of the stage musical version of Beetlejuice. How come? Well, as previously indicated, theatre attendance has traditionally been contingent on a couple of things. One, don't be loud. Nobody wants to hear you sing along. Two, stay off your damn cell phone. It's not hard. It's the social contract you enter into when attending. Literally millions of theatre goers obey these simple, reasonable rules every day, all around the world.

The congresswoman, notable for making gun ownership like her whole personality, is also accused of vaping and recording the performance. And I mean, how does she not know better? How. There's a whole announcement before the show about how forbidden recording devices are in theatre, and nobody's been allowed to smoke indoors since the 80's. These are basic life skills here. Is it the thinner air in Denver?

Fine, she has glasses too. Guns and glasses, but that's about it.

"Voters connect with sarcasm, right? Smug
sarcasm? From a dick? They like that, right?"

According to her campaign manager:

"I can confirm the stunning and salacious rumors: in her personal time, Congresswoman Lauren Boebert is indeed a supporter of the performing arts (gasp!) [that's Sexton's gasp, not mine] and, to the dismay of a select few, enthusiastically enjoyed a weekend performance of 'Beetlejuice,'"

-Drew Sexton, not doing so great 

a job at campaign managing

Technically, Caesar was assassinated 
while talking in a theatre.

So couple of things: first, nobody's impressed that a Republican attended the theatre. Confused, given the hostility the party shows towards the arts. And gay people. And vaccines. And immigrants, sorry, got off track there, but goddamn, most of their platform is about people they hate. Doesn't matter, my point is I don't care that she saw Beetlejuice. Secondly, it wasn't a select few: I guarantee you that everybody around her and everybody onstage absolutely hated her guts for talking, vaping, and singing during the show. They're not there to listen to some drunk* idiot slur her way through all the numbers.

If only Congress upheld the Fourteenth
Amendment's sedition clause as thoroughly
 and vigorously, amiright Drew? Amiright?

Have you ever been to a show where some audience member is talking or thier phone goes off and the actors stop the show? I have. It's great. And you know whose side everybody, like every single person in the room is on? Yeah, it's not the jackass with the cell. Oh, but Drew Sexton went on: "She [Boebert] appreciates the Buell Theatre's strict enforcement of their no photos policy and only wishes the Biden Administration could uphold our border laws as thoroughly and vigorously." Cool pivot Drew, the border's totally the story now.

Anyway, according to the theatre, Boebert, on her way out, threatened to call the mayor and demanded of the staff: "Do you know who I am?" Which, one can only assume is something she must have thought would help her case, but alas.

"Yeah, we all know who you are: the asshole who can't sit though a
two hour musical without getting thrown out for rude behavior."

-the entire staff of the Buell Theatre in Denver Colorado

*Ok, fine, no idea if she was drunk. I'm making that up. But seriously, how much nonsense does she and the entire GOP spout off without every being asked to provide evidence? Exactly. So, drunk.