Monday, February 6, 2023

Today in my march toward curmudgeonhood:

It is, impossibly, 2023, which, I know you know that. If you're anything like me, you've been scribbling over the last "2" in 2022 every time you need to write the date, but I bring it up because it's also my birthday.
Pictured: Me, today.
Chauffeur's do that right? You see,
I wouldn't know. I'm not a rich.
Yeah, again. And I am continually stunned by the increasing speed at which time now goes by. They tell you this when you're a child. That the older you get, the faster the years seem to go past. The reason being something like how rich people work. If you only have say, a few hundred dollars in your bank account, a simple car repair bill can be financially devastating. Meanwhile, the wealthy think nothing of it and just have their chauffeur change the oil or replace the air filter or whatever.

Instead of walking and doing
your own goddamn laundry.
And the fact that the ever-present possibility of an overly burdensome repair bill is my go-to analogy for getting older is just further evidence of my own, crushing adultivity. No one in their twenties thinks this way (or at all, if you're twenty-year-old me) and I'm not sure why. Is it that in our twenties, we just sort of assume that by the time we hit our forties we'll be financially stable? Because I think that's the personal equivalent of thinking that the future is going to be all jetpacks and robot butlers. 

"Student debt? College only cost $300
a year. Get to work ya lazy millennial!"
-an old
But it's not all doom and laundry, I mean, there are good things about getting old I suppose. I haven't hit any yet, but I'm sure they're coming. For one thing, olds are famous for loosing their ability to give a shit about what other people think. One need look no further than the clothes or the appalling disregard so many members of the seventy-plus crowd have for the struggles of the subsequent generations. Only someone born in the 50's could come up with the idea that rent should be no more than 30% of our income. It'd be great, but are they unfamiliar with capitalism? Which is kind of also their fault?

So there's that to look forward to. I wonder what unreasonable criticism people from my generation will lay on those who come after? Who can say? But with the rapidity with which old-age is setting in, I suppose I won't have to wait too long to find out.
"Rising sea levels? Boo-hoo. Maybe if you damn kids would
 stop buying so much avocado toast, you could afford a boat."
-future me, presumably while flying 
around on a high-emissions jetpack

 

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