Saturday, October 1, 2022

Terminator? Who said Terminator?

It's like those size comparison videos
that remind us all how insignificant we are
and how we need to close IRS loopholes
and slap some windfall taxes on the Sun.
To be clear, my, whatever, my issue with Elon Musk isn't about him as a person. I mean, maybe it would be if I knew him, but I don't. My issue is with him as the world's richest human. And while I get that no matter what there will always be someone that has more money than everybody else, for me it's an issue of scale. Like, a quick and lazy quarry of the internet tells me that the median net worth for Americans is worth something like a hundred and twenty thousand. Musk is worth two hundred and forty-nine billion. Dollars. Of money. With a "B." 

And that, in my most humble, mere, non-billionaire opinion is ridiculous. It's too much and I think it's probably criminal, or at least should be. But whether the problem is with the system or the person who takes advantage of the system is another question.

"Why can't it be both?"
-Some billionaire

Pictured: Elon Musk's latest invention.
And by "invention" I mean project he green
 lit between selfies with election deniers.
But why am I even on about this? Because robots. Because the headline right now is that Elon Musk has unveiled humanoid robot called Optimus. Ok, fine, Tesla unveiled it, but they're talking to Musk like he was tinkering in his lab someone and eureka'd up C-3PO. Is he even an engineer? I guess I always thought he was an investor. You know, a person who starts with money and uses it to make even more money and then we all talk about them like they're some kind of genius but really they're just really good at being rich.

"You keep his name out of your mouth!
Also marketing materials..."
Bitter? Sure I am, but more like bitter on behalf of everyone who works in exchange for money and no, I don't consider playing the market or whatever it is ka-jillionaires do work. It is, at best, gambling. But back to the damn robot. Optimus, yeah, Optimus--and incidentally, how dare they name it after my generation's surrogate sentient space truck dad--isn't I gather more advanced than other humanoid robots. Evidently what makes this one newsworthy is Musk's name attached to it. 

"Come get your products and services!"
-Some Endoskeleton
Terminator? Who said Terminator? Well, Musk did

"This [the robot] means a future of abundance; a future where there is no poverty, a future where you can have what you want in terms of products and services....We always want to be careful we don't go down the Terminator path..."

-Elon Musk assuaging fears 
we didn't have, until now

But what does it do? Good question. So far it just sort of lurches around stage at unveilings, but Musk promises that it "really is a fundamental transformation of civilization as we know it." Cool. But since he recently threw a tantrum at paying taxes in California so pulled up stakes and moved Tesla to Texas, I'm a little suspicious that the company's engineers are helping to build their own replacements. 

"Good work everybody, thank you. Now go clean out your desks."
-Musk, in about fourteen months I suspect

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