Today in unsubstantiated rumors:

Something something lens flare joke.

Hey, remember that time Rian Johnson directed Star Wars: The Last Jedi? It was objectively the best Star Wars sequel, but was so super-divisive among fans that J. J. Abrams stepped in and threw together some nonsense about Rey being Palpatine's grand-clone or something. The result was terrible, but for some reason everyone blamed Johnson and Kathlene Kennedy, while Abrams got a pass. Anyway, then Disney canceled Johnson's new trilogy of Star Wars movies and decided to give Star Wars a rest.

And then, they announced like forty new TV series and a movie based on Rogue Squadron? Remember all that? Cool, because now Rian Johnson's movies are back on.

Above: basically Disney.*

How do I know she's a fan and thought
SW: TROS was bunk? This Funko pop
on Wilson's instagram is tagged with 
 #bensolodeservedbetter, that's how.

This according to a contest winner. No, really, a writer called Sariah Wilson won a charity auction for an audience with the producer/director/folk singer (thanks Wikipedia!), and she evidently asked Johnson about Star Wars. She tweeted:

"Yes, Rian's SW trilogy is still on. No dates or timelines because he has other projects going on, but it is happening. That is all I know about it. Smiley emoji, smiley emoji, smiley emoji."

-Sariah Wilson, author, and Star Wars fan 

who correctly hated Rise of Skywalker

Note: Do not order anything, least of all
books, from Amazon. Go to a real bookstore.
Amazon is the literal worst thing.

So couple of things. One, Ben Solo absolutely deserved better, no argument there. Secondly, is this what we're reduced to now? As fans of a thing? Seizing on scraps and rumors relaid to us via contest winning fans' social media? Contest winning fans who, as luck would have it, are authors of "funny, flirty, feel-good romance" fiction and who-coincidentally I'm sure--also just happen to have new a book coming out? Order yours today on Amazon.com (but really, don't).

"Ach, who needs artistic integrity when
you can have literal mountains of cash?"

-some Disney spokesduck

Look, I loved Last Jedi and am down for another Rian Johnson Star Wars movie or three and I totally want to believe that Sariah Wilson's tweet is real. But I'm trying to be realistic here. I mean, giant corporations aren't exactly famous for taking creative risks. When movies cost hundreds of millions of dollars, like these do, they're going to go for the safest bet. And I'm just not sure that after the backlash from fans (the ones who hate things that are great), that I totally buy that Disney's going to be handing Rian Johnson the keys ever again, no matter how much better his movie was than J. J. Abrams' (it was way better, for the record).

Which is a shame, but I suppose you have to you know, let the past die, kill it if you have to, or whatever. And besides, they've got Patty Jenkins directing the next one, so it's not like fans are going without.

Pictured: Patty Jenkins seen here donning
her official director's helmet. 

*And yes, I realize that that's a Scarlet Witch reference, and that Disney owns Marvel as well, but it was only a matter of time before Disney owned so much of pop culture that it begins to eat itself in some kind of ouroboros of corporate synergy.