Riddance, just riddance...

Well, any day that begins with Donald Trump boarding Air Force One and leaving is off to a good start.

Pictured: Donald Trump applauding for himself.

Which, yeah, I think that was probably
the most accurate thing I've heard him say
in four years of incoherent nonsense.

Before getting on the plane, he spoke at Andrews Airbase before a maskless crowd of tens of supporters where he took credit not only for the shining utopia of joblessness and pandemic he leaves behind, but also for any accomplishments the Biden administration might achieve: 

"We put it (the country) in a position like it's never been before."

-Soon-to-be former President Trump

without the hint of a whiff of irony

Pictured: Don Jr, seen here with
a single tear running down
his smug, reptilian face.

It was uh...what's the word? Shameless? Yeah, shameless. I mean, was he even watching the same previous four years we all barely survived? Speaking of shameless, did you see Don Jr.'s simulation of human emotion? Yeah, a tear rolling down his cheek, it was...unsettling. I imagine he was probably thinking about how his father may never again get the chance to separate immigrant children from their parents again. And was that The Village People's YMCA playing? What is even happening?

Passengers are only allowed to carry two grudges,
grievances can be gate checked free of charge.

Later as the plane took off with the Frank Sinatra's My Way playing (almost certainly without the permission of the Sinatra estate), someone on CNN said--and I'm not sure who it was--but he described the scene as:

"A planeload of grievances and grudges heading to off Florida."

-some CNN reporter

All this was intercut with shots of President-elect Biden heading to a church service with Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer and Mitch McConnell which, fun fact, required zero people to be clubbed or tear-gassed.

Zero. Not even a tasing, so already things are looking up.