Friday, September 11, 2020

Clearly it's Dick Jones, right?

Just off the top of your head, what would you say was the most memorable thing about the movie RoboCop? Dick Jones, right? Obviously you said Dick Jones.
I mean, why'd they even call the movie RoboCop?
Pictured: Detroit.
Not pictured: me making a joke about
dystopias. I mean let's lay off, huh? 
I bring this up because Ed Nuemeier, the screenwriter of the 1987 Paul Verhoeven ultra-violent comedy film is working on a tv spin-off series about Dick Jones. You know, the obligatory 80's evil business guy who worked for the company that turned Peter Weller's character into a walking cyber-corpse of Regan-era anxieties about technology? The series will-Huh? No, not the young business guy who does all the coke, the older one. Ronny Cox? Admiral Jellico from Star Trek? Anyway Nuemeier's series will explore Jones' rise to power in future Detroit.

No really, what was
up with his arms?
The most puzzling thing about this is that it took someone at MGM more than thirty years to bring us RoboCop Chronicles: Origins: The Rise of Dick Jones (working title*). It's a story that must be told. I mean, he was such a memorable character, so full of depth and-Huh? What's that? No, not the dad from That 70's Show, you're thinking of Clarance Boddicker, Dick Jones' goon. We're talking about the other guy. The one in the suit? RoboCop shoots him off the building at the end? Remember the crappy stop-motion arms?

Ok, fine, you probably don't remember Dick Jones and I am indeed trolling here. But then, what is the internet if not a forum for people to issue baseless and cynical hot-takes about things that don't even exist yet?
A global communication system capable of brining humanity together across
national and philosophical borders in a way never before imagined? Also porn.
Not to be confused with the remake
which had RoboCop but none of
the cool stuff about RoboCop.
Here's what Nuemeier said in an interview about just what the hell he's thinking with this prequel/follow-up to his movie:

"It has all the cool stuff about RoboCop except no RoboCop...the first time I heard it I knew it was a cool idea because I could see a lot of things you could do with it. It's such an interesting character."

-Ed Nuemeier, presumably in answer to 
the questions: Wait, what? And Why?

A lot of things? Like what? Are we going to watch a young Dick Jones get his MBA? Or maybe see him get fitted for his first evil business guy three piece? The mind reels. I don't know, when it comes to RoboCop, I was kind of there for the robots and the biting satire of 1980's America. But then again there's an entire show about the kid Daniel-san beats at the end of The Katate Kid, and everyone's into it so really, what do I know?
Pictured: Dick Jones and the security robot with machine gun
arms, ED-209. Who's uh...who's also not in the new show.

*no it's not.

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