No, I don't think he can hear himself...

Did you see Michelle Obama's speech last night? I did, it was great. It was about unity, justice, and the desperate need for moral leadership. You know, the exact opposite of the last four years. You'd have to be a real shitheal to have a problem with that.

"Basically no."

-Michelle Obama last night,

on the Trump administration

Pictured: Donald Trump, seen here
trashing a woman for calling for unity.
Not pictured: irony.

Incapable of both irony and recognizing when he's stupendously outclassed, the President responded:

"They talk about me being a divider. I'm not a divider. We were bringing people together. We were bring people together like never before and then we got hit by the China virus."

-Literally the only person in

the world who would say that

Yup, bringing people together. Except people who aren't white. And women. And people who like being able to vote. I mean he famously made a political career out of stoking divisions. Hey, remember that time he leapt to the defense of the Nazis marching in Charlottesville? Because he leapt to the defense of Nazis.

Well, he kind of brings people together.