Sunday, January 12, 2020

OMM on the Rage

Look out fans of weak-ass curse words, One Million Moms, a spin-off of noted Christian fundamentalist anti-LGBTQ+ hate group, The American Family Association, has Burger King in their sights because they did a swear. A swear!
Above: Men kissing, with tongues and everything.
Because fuck the AFA and everything they stand for.
Actors: turns out they're not really people.
You heard me, Burger King ran an ad in which totally real people who are definitely not actors, attended the launch party (which is a thing) of the restaurant's Impossible Burger Whopper. Sorry, that was a lot of trademarks. Impossible Burger is a plant based meat substitute and a Whopper is a burger with secret sauce. And secret sauce is like mayo and ketchup, so secret's out. Anyway, at this real event, non-actors have big, not at all scripted reactions to being a part of this historic moment.

Even their censor blur is branded.
Welcome to corporate dystopia.
Here's one attendee who was driven to profanity by the sheer irresistibility of plant based protein:

"I love Impossible Burgers, I hunt them down, I camped out <all fucking night> (she's bleeped, but that's my best guess) to have the Impossible Burger. I have pictures if you want to see."

-An Impossible Burger enthusiast,
grossly overestimating our interest 
in evidence of her burger camp-out

But that spontaneous intensifier wasn't what OMM-that's the deceptively peaceful acronym-were well I never-ing about. Instead it was this guy and his uncensored use of the d-word.
"Damn that's good."
                          -This guy
Yeah, and kids love swears.
So what's the problem?
Well OMM isn't having it. In an article on their site entitled: Burger King Continues to Cross the Line, the group says they-

...[find] "this highly inappropriate. When responding to the taste test, he didn't have to curse...It is extremely destructive and damaging to the impressionable children viewing the commercial. We all know children repeat what they hear."

-Like, eight thousand Moms, tops 

So first of all, damn. I mean, damn. With everything wrong in the world right now, a dumb ad offhandedly using the mildest swear in the English language is worth a petition? I mean, sure, we live in a world where not liking the end of Game of Thrones justifies a Change.org, but holy shit OMM. Pick your battles.
I mean, at least go after them for something genuinely
damaging, like the nightmare fuel that was their mascot.
Repeatedly accused of. By like
twenty women, but sure, the d-word.
Of course, as a shitty right-wing group, they have a massive blindspot when it comes to conservatives using harsh language. Donald Trump routinely tweets far worse and is in a way more influential position as president than goddamn Burger King, yet there's nothing on their site about "shithole countries" or "grab 'em by the pussy." There is however a petition calling out Fox for an episode of Family Guy from last year in which a character is sexually assaulted by Trump. Which, is something he's been accused of.

Look, I don't care about Burger King or their dumb burger. What I can't fathom however is how the however many OMM members there actually are can have so short a fuse when it comes to taking offense. I mean, walk outside, you will hear all kinds of words. Can you imagine loosing your mind over it like the OMM folks do? How are these people not popping aneurisms every twenty minutes?
Um...they know the Bible is like full of instances of the words
"damn," "hell" and even "ass," right? If not, can I tell them?

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