Thursday, June 13, 2019

We hardly knew ye...

I mean that, because she only did like three press conferences in her two years on the job and-huh? Oh, right. You don't know what I'm talking about. Welp, the White House announced today that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving her job as Press Secretary.
"Don't let the door hit you on the way out..."
-The entire White House Press Corps
Like, they can't all have been
fired or indicted. Yet, I mean.
"But who's going to lie to us now?" You plaintively wail. But don't worry, the White House has an endless supply of morally flexible staff members to choose from. All of whom I'm sure would be more than willing to spin the parade of dumbfuckery that is the Trump Administration. Of course, whoever fills Huckabee Sanders' podium will almost certainly bring their own style to the position. But I for one am going to miss her aggressive brand of blithe indifference to objective fact.

Or that time she called Democrats
baby killers
. She's such a card...
I'll never forget that time got Jim Acosta banned from the briefing room for having the temerity to ask questions, or the way she called all women who've accused Donald Trump of sexual assault liars. And hey, remember that time Trump clearly implied that Kirsten Gillibrand offered him sexual favors for campaign contributions and journalist April Ryan was like, 'what's up with that?' And Huckabee Sanders suggested that Ryan was the pervert for interpreting the Trump's super-gross tweet that way? Just the best.

So what's next for the woman who did her damnedest to stifle free press in America and who never missed an opportunity to call us all idiots for not buying her transparent line of horseshit? Why she's thinking of running for Governor in her home state of Arkansas. Which, I'm not sure who to feel sorry for.
"It's been a pleasure. Really, I'm going to miss lying to
your faces and accusing you of treason. See you all in hell."

-Sarah Huckabee Sanders, to the 
reporters she despises so much

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