Here, let me vent about Mitch McConnell:

You know who's just the worst? Well, yes, fans, but that was last time. This time I'm talking about Mitch McConnell, who's even...the worst-er.

He's just a symbol of everything wrong with-oh,
sorry Beeker, I thought you were somebody else...

"No, really. What's so funny?"

-the Paducah tourism bureau

How come? Lots of reasons. Really it's just a lifetime of being an unrepentant shitheel, but his most recent moment of shithellery came at a luncheon at the Paducah Chamber of Commerce. Wait, the where? Paducah. It's in Kentucky. In McCracken county. No, that's not a joke. The Senate Majority leader gave a speech to local movers and shakers in Paducah during which someone asked him about that time he sat on a Supreme Court nomination just in case Trump won the election.

"The American people should have a voice
in-sorry, almost said it with a straight face..."

-Beeker

Remember? And then Trump did, win I mean. Unexpectedly and you know, technically. But the question McConnell was asked was what would he do if another seat opened up on the Court with the 2020 election just around the corner. Keep in mind that in his remarks today, McConnell referred to holding up the nomination in 2016 and claimed that he was just providing providing "...the American people a chance to speak up about who they wanted to make that decision." So take a guess at what he said. No, go on. Guess. It'll be fun. Give up? Ok, here's what he said:

"No, as a matter of fact I have
no shame. Next question?"

-A shambles turtle of a man

"Oh, we'd fill it."

-Mitch McConnell,

noted shitheel

Oh, we'd fill it. Are you for goddamn kidding me? His speech leading up to that was basically him openly acknowledging that his strategy has been to ram as many court appointment through as possible while the GOP is still in power. Something he knows won't last, because of their terribleness.

From the people who
brought you Hoovervilles!

"This opportunity doesn't come along very often for my side. In fact you can go back a hundred years and only twenty of the last hundred years has my party enjoyed the White House, the House and the Senate at the same time. One fifth of the time. So I said to myself, we'd better not waste any time because this may not last very long and sure enough two years later we're back to divided government."

-The Literal Worst, I mean, 

how does he sleep at night?

Well, I hope you're happy...

I know politics is a filthy game played by garbage people, and that it's sometimes difficult to distinguish what we want from what's best for the country but holy shit. That 'opportunity' he's referring to is that time most of us voted for Hillary Clinton but the electoral system we're saddled with because 18th century farmers felt under appreciated, handed us the former host of The Apprentice instead. So now they're going to saddle future generations with as many fresh-faced young conservatives as they can possibly squeeze in before the next election or the indictments are handed out. Whichever comes first.

Anyway, the upshot here is that court cases for the next forty years won't so much reflect the will of the people as they will the will of the crazy fringe of the Republican party because people like Mitch McConnell have so heroically taken advantage of a broken system.

Pictured: A circuit court in the near
future upholding a conviction of witchcraft.