We are all in the gutter...

Say, something's not right here...something I can't quite put my finger on...huh? Oh, I'm referring to the tweet the President sent out after Doug Jones' probably-shouldn't-have-been-this-close victory over Roy Moore, noted child moles-oh, sorry, alleged. Alleged child molester. Anyway, lookit:

Wait, where's the real Donald Trump and what have you done
with him? I mean, you can keep him, it's just that I'm curious.

"Next tiiiiime..." the President rasped before

before stroking his cat with his cold, metal claw.

I'm not saying that it's a classy response, like, what's his beef with write-in votes? And yeah a win is a win, that's why they call it a win. Of course, as the sitting President he probably should have just left it at congratulations and skipped the "I'll get you next time, Gadget..." part, but still, there's none of his usual petulant hashtags or unnecessary digs at Hillary Clinton. In fact, it's almost like a rational person wrote this one-hang on, you don't suppose that a rational person wrote this one, do you?

Like maybe after admitting on Twitter that he knew about Mike Flynn lying to the FBI before he asked James Comey to drop his investigation, someone at the White House pried his phone out of his leathery mitts and is writing his tweets for him? Or is at least screening them? Or maybe it was after this swing he took at Senator Kirsten Gillibrand:

Oh...oh no...

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us
are looking at the stars. Of course, others
of us are the goddamn President so..."

-Oscar Wilde

I think the words you're looking for are 'holy shit.' Gillibrand recently joined four other U.S. Senators in asking the President resign over all the terrible things he's done to women over his decades as a groping, leering symbol of everything wrong with America. And if you're taking the quotation marks around the word 'begging' and the phrase 'would do anything for (campaign contributions)' to mean that the President is making lewd suggestions about Gillibrand, it's because your mind is in the gutter. That of course is the official statement from Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

Um...this.

No, really, this is for real. I'm not even kidding. When April Ryan from CNN asked if Senator Gillibrand was owed an apology for Trump's clearly suggestive tweet she replied, without a hint of a whiff of the ghost of irony:

"I think only if your mind is in the gutter would you have read it that way and...um...so no."

-Sarah Huckabee Sanders on 

how we're all filthy-minded juveniles

Seriously? I'd argue that everyone in the world would read it that way. Dead people would read it that way. Deep sea sponges would read it that way. Does...wait, does Sarah Huckabee Sanders know who we're talking about? Like, is it possible she's confusing the President with someone else? Someone less gross?

Above: April Ryan physically unable to accept the
the unmitigated horseshit that is Sarah Sander's response.