To boldly monetize...

Pictured: the long shaft of 'Oumuamua,
thrusting its way through space, its rigid
form penetrating deep into the solar system.

Hey, remember a couple of months ago when astronomers spotted that object careening through the solar system? It was the one that instead of being the usual irregular blob shape of an asteroid is instead long and shaped like a...let's say cigar. And then in November it was announced that based on its angle and speed it had to have come from outside our solar system making it the first confirmed extra-solar object. Because of this, the International Astronomical Union  even named it 'Oumuamua, which is Hawaiian for 'scout' or 'messenger.' So....aliens? Yes. Definitely aliens.

Ok, it's probably not aliens, but it is smaller than most asteroids, weirdly shaped, reddish, and it comes from outside our star system. So it could be anything from some usual, heretofore unobserved classification of asteroid to the ship from Arthur C. Clarke's Rendezvous with Rama. The point is we don't know, so maybe let's not scoff at aliens.

I'm personally not willing to rule out the Jupiter Mining Corporation either.

Two and a half hours in and all we
get is her dead dad on a beach
 telling her 'Good effort, sport!'

In fact, you know who's not scoffing at aliens? SETI that's who. You know, the organization that looks for extraterrestrial intelligence? Like Jodi Foster in Contact, but somehow with slightly more satisfying results. Anyway, bananas as it might sound, they're not willing to rule out the possibility that 'Oumuamua is more than a giant space log whipping through the galaxy at 196,000 miles per hour. A privately funded SETI program is turning the world's largest steerable radio telescope onto 'Oumuamua, just in case it really is aliens.

Yeah, privately funded. It's called Breakthrough Listen, and it was founded by Yuri Milner. He's a Russian billionaire who, in addition to investing in other trademark-able, yet preposterously named ventures such as WhatsApp, ZocDoc and AirBnBsuper is super into space. Breakthrough Listen is part of a series of initiatives which have a collective goal of, among other things, contacting alien life and then, I shit you not, starting the Federation. Yes, like on Star Trek.

Hes also a huge Facebook investor which makes me wonder if perhaps
someday in the future we could be screwing up elections on other planets.

If successful, Milner will no doubt
monetize his discovery, probably with an
app, probably called MuuN or some shit.

Just last month he announced that he's planning to fund his own project to send a probe to Enceladus, a moon of Saturn that some scienticians think might harbor extremophile life forms deep below the icy surface in some liquid ocean warmed by geothermal vents or something. So germs, but still, alien germs. Which, on the one hand, hurray for science. Finding any extraterrestrial life, even alien microbes, would be a world changing event and make the idea that we're not alone in the universe a lot more plausible. But on the other hand, is this the kind of thing that should be privately funded?

"We come in peace for all Zynga-kind."

-PrôB

I don't begrudge this Milner guy his enthusiasm, it's just that maybe someday one of our space probes or transmissions will be intercepted by an alien civilization, and I'm not sure how I feel about first contact being handled by business people. I mean, are we really comfortable with a discovery of that magnitude being owned by the people who force us to endure those stupid Farmville notifications? I just think it should be an international team of nerds whose motivations are nobler than finding new markets for their free-to-play bullshit.

Ok, so my fears of a grim future run by start-ups and venture capitalists aside, it is pretty exciting that someone's going to probe this thing for signs of intelligence. Sure, the likelihood of 'Oumuamua being something artificial and alien is slim, but what if it pans out? What if it is some kind of extraterrestrial generation ship or a probe or something? We could be on the cusp of the greatest discovery in human history. Or, it might just be a vaguely phallic rock shooting through the solar system.

Oh shit, what if it wants to talk to whales?
Do we even have those anymore?