Monday, October 17, 2016


Earnest went on to say that he'll be
 here all week and invited the press to
try the waiters and to tip the veal.
Today in awkward yet reasonably funny for a press secretary (it's a low bar) jokes, White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest suggested that all that sniffing and general weird behavior we saw from Donald Trump were actually signs of drug use which Carrie Fisher totally called like a week ago, but whatever. When asked by a reporter about the White Houses position on Trump's suggestion that Presidential candidates should be asked to take a drug test, Earnest said:

"It's going to be the best enemies list anyone
ever saw. You're not going to believe it."
-Trump, hyperbolizing
"So you're telling me that the candidate who snorted his way through the first two debates is accusing the other candidate of taking drugs? That's a curious development in the campaign."

-Josh Earnest, totally making 
Donald Trump's enemies list

Yes. Curious. And, what's the other emotion this election is bringing out in people? Amusement but also a sense of being sick to one's soul at the state of our democracy. Is there a word for that?

"Have you tried copious amounts of alcohol?
It really helps with lachenweldschmertz."
I don't know, I'm sure the Germans have one, but since I don't speak German, I'm going to make one up. Lachenwerldschmertz. It means 'laughing world pain.' Anyway, under most circumstances it would probably be inappropriate for a White House spokesperson to hurl wild accusations like that about the other party's candidate but, then Trump did bring it up in the first place. And besides, any claim the GOP had on mutual respect and polite conduct went out the window when they nominated Hot Mic McGrabbygrope. 

So you want to like, I don't know, say
something here? Something to your
fans about maybe not staging a coup?
And did you see see this? The not-at-all veiled threats of assassination and coups? That's coup as in d'etat. I know, it looks like coup, like with chickens, but it's not. Anyway, check this out:

"If (Clinton)'s in office, I hope we can start a coup. She should be in prison or shot...We're going to have a revolution and take them out of office if that's what it takes."

-Trump supporter Dan Bowman-holy shit...

I mean, holy shit. Yikes, right? I mean, what's November 9th going to look like? Assuming Trump's coalition of dude-bras, meth enthusiasts and white people with persecution complexes doesn't stage some kind of bloody coup. Seriously, when this is over will we ever be able to look one another in the eye again? Or are we just going to go on, bathed in the background radiation of divisiveness this election has brought out in us.
Above: a false color image of political background radiation that will be left over
from this election. The purple is vitriol, the blue are particles of hatred for other worldview
and the bright band across the middle is a combination of gamma rays, neutrinos and fuck you.

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