Wednesday, August 3, 2016

This is why nobody likes you, Fabian.

Yes, this bullshit again. Remember when the Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the Gloucester County, Virginia School District should put on their grown-up pants and stop freaking out about transgender students using their preferred bathrooms? You do? Great. Because today the Supreme Court put that ruling on hold.
"My these are grown-up! I suddenly feel like I should stop
throwing an ignorant tantrum about which bathroom transgender 

people should use and just try being a decent human being."
-Not the Gloucester Country School District
Above: The Gloucester County School Board
deciding that high school isn't humiliating
enough, and that something must be done.
This particular case started when Gavin Grimm, an excellently named high school student (and probable sorcerer), sued the school board because they decided that he could no longer use the boy's bathroom. School administrators had been allowing Grimm, who was born biologically female, to use boy's room until the board stepped in with their new policy which I can only imagine must have felt like it was aimed directly at him. The case went to the Fourth Circuit Court where it was thrown out but then the Board one-upped Grimm by going to the Supreme Court because holy shit they like to win.

Are you sure you still want to hold
for the next President? Because neither
option seems like a win for you guys. 
But hold on, you say, the court has been sort of divided along conservative/liberal lines ever since Antonin Scalia died? How come this is still a thing? Ok, firstly, settle down. Secondly, get this, the usually liberal Justice Stephen Breyer voted for the hold despite it being a judicial shit sandwich 'as a courtesy'. To, whom? I don't know, whomever they eventually get to fill Scalia's seat. Which I guess probably isn't going to happen anytime soon since Republicans are still, yes still stomping their feet and insisting that we should let the next President nominate someone.

Pictured: The divine wrath that didn't
follow marriage equality. So can we say
'we goddamn told ya so,' or is that rude?
Does all this sound kind of familiar? The school district asking the court to block a Federal Judge's order while it mounts an appeal? Remember when opponents of same-sex marriage pulled this back when we were still arguing about that. Anytime a judge ruled that same-sex couples could get married, some asshole with a legal fund would step in and get the ruling put on hold to give them more time to come up with Bible verses about how much God hates gay people. This sucked because people were trying to plan their weddings and book venues and figure out seating for their reception while judges kept hearing appeals that cited Leviticus as legal precedent.

"Fabian? Ugh...I fucking hate that guy..."
-Hannibal circa 217 B.C.
I'm not like a historian or anything, but I think this is what they would call a Fabian strategy. It's named after a Roman General called Quintus Fabians Maximus who, in addition to having a preposterous name, was also famous for retreating right before a battle and forcing his opponent to follow him. Then, when they caught up with him, Fabian would do it again, and again thus exhausting and annoying the shit out of his enemies. It worked for Fabian, but this is the 21st century and we don't play.

Marriage equality is a fact now and I suspect so too will be the right to use the bathroom appropriate to one's gender identity. The kick in the teeth however is that in the mean time students in the Gloucester, Virginia school district who have to pee will now have to wait for the courts to figure out where they can do it. So, take your time guys...
"I'm sorry, but you'll just have to hold it until congressional Republicans
agree to hold hearings on a new Supreme Court Justice. Huh? Well,
you should have thought of that before they threatened to filibuster."

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