Because you can't punch the hoodie.

Thanks Germany, great word,
but no, this doesn't make us even.

I'm not saying that anybody deserves to get punched in the face. I'm really not. However, what do you suppose it must have been like to be the 911 dispatcher that got George Zimmerman's 911 call last weekend when he reported that some guy just up and decked him? I'm going to guess that we could describe the emotion she was feeling as, oh what's the word I'm thinking of? I think it's German? Oh, right schadenfreude. You know, it's that feeling you get when you're happy, but you kind of feel a little guilty about it? Guilty-joy. That's it.

Holy shit we could sell tickets. Punch
George Zimmerman, line forms to the left.

Speaking of guilty, yeah, George Zimmerman got punched in the face on Sunday at Gators Riverside Grille in Sanford Florida-oh yes, the same town where back in 2012 Zimmerman shot 17-year-old Treyvon Martin. Zimmerman still lives there, but we'll get to that. Anyway, according to Zimmerman, he was just innocently explaining to some people at the restaurant that he shot an unarmed teenager in self-defense, when some rando came up and punched him and called him names. Can you believe it? You can? Yeah, me too. Again, while I don't condone face-punching for any reason, c'mon, it'd feel pretty good, right?

Hey remember when Geraldo blamed
Treyvon Martin's hoodie for the murder?
So why hasn't someone punched him yet?

So while Zimmerman insists that he was just recognized from the news, other eyewitness said he was bragging about that time he got away with murder which doesn't sound super-unlikely given his history of bragging about that time he got away with murder. I mean, he did auction off the gun he used which isn't the kind of thing you do when you're contrite or remorseful, so I think the real question is what in the name of fuck is he still doing in Sanford Florida, much less regaling the locals with stories of his heroic exploits?

Like seriously, I know I don't always put a lot of faith in the State of Florida. I mean, it is objectively the worst state, but if this asshole keeps bragging about killing Martin the locals are going to put an angry mob together and go after him and nobody wants that...in theory. So why doesn't he leave? Change his name, grow a mustache and leave. Forever.

Look, sooner or later we're going to need to see if people
can survive on Mars so I'm saying, why waste an astronaut?