Saturday, February 13, 2016

Thanks Canada, thanks for nothing.

That's just unreasonable cold and if you ever needed proof that God hates Valentine's Day as much as single people, you need look no further.
"I just think it's gotten too commercial, you know?"
"On behalf of all Canada, I'd like to say
I'm really so sore-y aboot the weather."
-Canadian PM Justin Trudeau
On the east coast it's supposed to get down into the single digits this weekend thanks to super-cold air blowing south from Canada which I think we need to ask them to apologize for. I mean, they'll do it. There's a reason the tired stereotype exists.* Anyway, ice and snow will no doubt murder people both with unsafe road conditions and by freezing them in their homes and the wind chill is expected to make it feel like it's forty below in some places. What role how cold it feels plays in a world that has mercury thermometers is beyond me, but whatever, the point is it's going to be goddamn cold.

Not here mind you, I fled the inhospitable east years ago for the sunny and earthquake prone west coast. Sure, we may all end up buried under the rubble of our many indoor rock climbing facilities and pot dispensaries, but at least we don't need to bring a jacket.
It's all the physical exertion of rock climbing
without the fresh air or sense of accomplishment!
Sure it's on fire, but the view!
That's not to say California isn't without potential threats from a planet that hates us. People here do like to build homes on hillsides of loosely packed soil surrounded by dry wood and brush, and L.A.'s had a massive natural gas leak going since October that stopped today. Today! So I guess my question is why do we even put up with this? Nature, I mean. Unless science fiction has somehow incorrectly predicted the future, shouldn't we all live in domes or something?

We are seriously behind on this. Nature isn't something to co-exist with, it's something to be escaped. We're not going to win. Let's face it, the Earth doesn't feel pity, or remorse and it absolutely will not stop until we are dead. Of course I might be thinking of Terminator, but I think the sentiment applies.
The city of Boston has already drawn up plans to flee the Earth and its many perils.
(source: late 70's album covers)

*It's ok, I'm allowed to say it. They're my people.

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