Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Sic Semper Also-rans!

I'm not like the word police or anything, but could we please stop misusing-wait are there word police? Because if there aren't, there probably should be.
In the criminal justice system, definition based offenses are considered especially heinous.
In New York City, the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members
of an elite squad known as the Special Letters Unit. These are their stories...
Vote Cruz 2016
"No, you're thinking of Jeb Bush,
Ted Cruz is a totally different guy."*
Sorry, I was just taken aback by the fact that Sesame Street once did a spoof of the Law and Order spin-off about sex crimes. Anyway, word police. So I'd like Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz to please stop murdering the word 'tyranny.' Here, watch him use it in a sentence:

"We did not establish a rule by unelected elites to seize decision-making authority from the American people...Indeed, that is the very definition of tyranny." 

-Ted Cruz, all butt-hurt
because bakers have to
bake gay wedding cakes

Did you hear that? Ted Cruz is
very disappointed in you all.
Hang on, when did we establish a rule by unelected elit-oh. He means the gay marriage thing. Right. And The Affordable Care Act. Yup, he's still crying about that.

"Much to my great disappointment, this past term the court crossed a line and continued it's long dissent [sic] into lawlessness to a level I believe demands action..."

-Ted Cruz, on how the court is 
basically Lord of the Flies in robes 

His solution? Term limits and recall elections. Holy shit! Ted Cruz must be some kind of genius! Why didn't the those bepowdered-wig wearing, quill-jockeys come up with that? Is there some kind of glaring flaw with making Supreme Court Justice an elected office just Senators and Congresspeople and the Presi-riiiiiight...
Pictured: all the best arguments against letting the American people
choose our own leaders rolled into one smirking, leathery jackass. 
Above: Speech.
See what I did there?
I'm not like a law scholar or anything, but I think the reason Justices are appointed to the bench for life is so that their decisions aren't influenced by the need to answer to voters. Sure, politics inevitably enters into the equation when one of them dies or retires and the President needs to appoint a new one, but we elect the President (usually). Yeah, sometimes the Court's decisions aren't going to be popular. It happens. Remember Citizens United? Nobody was talking about making Antonin Scalia hit the campaign trail after that one.

There were other probably other factors.
Like the way they put a 'u' in color.
That was objectively bullshit, but you can't just call anything you don't like the definition of...tyranny. Not every law or court ruling is tyrannical just because you don't agree with it. The word has a definition. Like, you can look it up and everything. See? 'Oppressive power exerted by government.' Like when the British taxed our tea and made us quarter their troops? That was tyranny. So much so that our cheap-ass ancestors rebelled and started their own country. But is the ACA really oppressing anybody? Sure, there's some forms to fill out, but come on.

And marriage equality? Is gay marriage really tyrannical? Like, if the court ruled that everyone was required by law to marry someone of the same sex I could see their argument, but that wasn't super-likely so could we all take it down a notch?
"I hereby find that the 14th Amendment does in fact mandate gay marriage for everybody.
All citizens have 60 days to comply...and I've got dibs on Channing Tatum. What?"

-Supreme Court Justice Gaylord T. Mankiss

*His actual campaign slogan.

**Ok, no it's not, but it might as well be.

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