From America with Ambivalence

Don't worry gay athletes, the Russian government won't necessarily throw you in a gulag for being gay. Now, shut up and slalom. Yup, Russian authorities have agreed to slightly reword the Olympic Truce with for the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. What the hell is the Olympic Truce? I'm glad I pretended you asked, because I looked it up.

I also looked up Winter Olympics and Sochi. It turns out there's another, even
less interesting version of the Olympics that happens in winter. Who knew? Oh, and I think
Sochi is some sort of Russian beverage. Probably made with vodka.

"I'll still stab you, just later..."

A couple thousand years ago when the Olympics were attended by naked people from different, sometimes warring Greek city states, everybody agreed to a truce so that nobody got 300'ed on the way to the games. Then nobody gave a shit about the Olympics from 393 to 1896 when the games were revived as a way to foster peace between the nations, which totally worked. This brings us to 1998 when the modern Olympics revived the tradition. It carries exactly no force of law whatsoever, but it makes everybody feel good.

Above: An elderly Satanist
in a wheelchair?* Welcome.
Gay people? Not so much.

Everybody that is, except gay people who were noticeably left out this time. A draft of the Russian Truce contained wording about how the games would be inclusive towards 'people of different age, sex, physical capacity, religion and social status' with a big damn uncomfortable pause where most reasonable nations would say 'sexual orientation.' Given Russia's recent and dickish attitude towards their own LGBT community this was kind of an issue with gay athletes and visitors wondering if they'll be fined or arrested for the vaguely defined crime of spreading gay propaganda. But, not to worry, like I said, the Russian government has relented and agreed to alter the wording to make sure it "promotes social inclusion without discrimination of any kind." So, um...hooray? I guess?


Do they want a medal? Well, obviously, but here I'm referring to a figurative medal. So they've generously agreed to not prosecute gay Olympians and tourists for the crime of being gay in Russia. Great. Now what about the millions of LGBT Russians who have to put up with this bullshit every day? If anything, suspending the anti-gay laws makes it worse.

"Welcome foreign homosexuals! While you disgust me, I hope you enjoy the games."

-Russian President Vladamir Putin,

wearing a goddamn shirt for once

Russian police hitting protesters with
sticks...you know, for the children.
Way to go guys, way to go.

You know and I know that the legislation is fundamentally unfair, but by relaxing it for the Olympics, isn't the government openly acknowledging that it was passed for purely political reasons? I mean, the stated rational was that the laws were put in place to protect children, but if that's true, how can they just be put aside for the games? Do they only care about the children so long as it doesn't hurt tourism? Holy shit comrades, either gay people are a danger to Russia's kids or they're not.

Look, I had no intention of watching the winter Olympics in the first place, but if anyone asks, I'm boycotting them along with whatever Russian-made good or services I regularly enjoy...which is to say, none. Man, this is going to be the easiest political statement ever.

Sure they gave us Chekov and the hilarious nuclear wessels scene in Star Trek IV,
(it's the one with the whales) but what has Russia done for us recently?

*what? She could be a satanist. You don't know...