Let's Tolerate Lactose!

Oh look, Chick-fil-A, America's favorite purveyor of deep fried chicken miscellany and moral compass, is in the news again! You might remember them as the brave fast food chain who took a stand against marriage equality. Yeah, those guys.

It was a surprisingly judgmental attitude coming from a
company whose President enjoys animal role-play...with his dad. 

What do you mean that's terrible?
Snow leopard cubs have to eat too.

So now who's the focus of Chick-fil-A's righteous indignation? Mammals. Well, specifically Jennifer Day, a mother from Knoxville, Tennessee who was told to leave a Chick-fil-A because she was feeding her five-month old daughter and in doing so was scaring the other patrons' children. Feeding a child in an eating establishment? How dare she. I guess I could understand the problem if she was feeding her child to something, say snow leopards, but no, she was just breastfeeding.

Look, it's not that I'm standing up for children or anything. I actually think it's kind of gross that we let kids into restaurants to begin with, but breastfeeding is not anywhere near the top of the list of reasons why. I mean, kids scream, they throw food and some of them shit themselves, right there at the table and we're all just supposed to be cool with it.

Really, I'm in favor of whatever shuts your kid up. 

Pictured: Jennifer Day, who thinks she's so
 great just because her body produces milk.

Breastfeeding, on the other hand, is a normal thing humans do. It's why women have breasts, and why we men have these weird vestigial nipples. But that didn't stop a Chick-fil-A employee coming up to Day and telling her that her breastfeeding was freaking out other people's kids. And I know I wasn't there, but I don't believe for a minute that the other customers' children were the source of the complaint. That's just bullshit. Kids don't care. This is squeamish, uptight parents projecting their hangups onto others.

Is GTA V also coming out on
breasts? No? I thought not.

Fortunately, the law's on Day's side and women in Tennessee can breastfeed wherever and whenever they need to, and anyone who has a problem with it can shut up and deal. The manager who asked her to leave has since apologized, and has even approached the East Tennessee Breastfeeding Coalition for sensitivity training (which is totally a thing) but Day is taking this opportunity to draw attention to her breasts and what they can do. She had this to say:

"Any mother is allowed to breastfeed her child if she's in that place otherwise. They (breasts) were made for a purpose, a God-given ability. It is the best gift you can give your child."

-Jennifer Day, apparently 

unaware of Xbox

In order to help Chick-fil-A and people in general just get over it, Day staged a Nurse-In (which is exactly what it sounds like), and it looks like it went very well. The restaurant was accommodating, babies got fed, and awareness was raised. I do however take issue with the fact that Chick-fill-A is now where people go to have their voices heard. I mean, Rome had the Forum and we've got goddamn Chick-fil-A?

Before settling on 'Nurse-In,' Day and her fellow protesters
considered 'Mother Suckers' and 'The Breast Friends Club.'*

*I really am sorry about that.