Here, let me save you two hours.

How rich do you have to be for $55 million to be a disappointment? Fox rich I suppose. Apparently the opening weekend for The Wolverine, was kind of short of some people's expectations. According to this guy, we're just sick of superhero movies and I think that's sort of true, or at least we're sick of the in-between superhero movies.

"I predict that The Woverine will make all the money. In the world."

-Allen from accounting, shortly before 

updating his resumé on Linkedin

Ninjas: check and check.

Everyone loves superhero team-up movies which is why The Avengers did so well, but not everyone loves the lead up. Sure, the Iron Man movies were great but does anyone really remember Thor or Captain America: The First Avenger being all that interesting? I sort of felt like that about The Wolverine. I mean it was ok, but not great. It had ninjas in it, and I'm of the generation for whom that's really all you need to do to make us happy so, win, but the rest of it felt unnecessary and kind of forgettable.

Although I did kind of dig the scenes of Logan having Baltar/Six time with the ghost of Jean Grey. Yeah, Jean shows up in The Wolverine even though she went all Dark Phoenix on everybody in X-Men 3 and killed Cyclops and Professor X. If you recall it was up to Wolverine to heroically stab her to death which totally sucked because with Scott out of the way might have had a shot with her (or not, see below).

"Um, listen Logan I don't think this is going to work. I mean, you smell like beer and murder. 
And I really don't understand what's going on with your hair..."

-Jean Grey

All I'm saying is that you can't cure
Dark Phonix with Xanax and counseling.

Anyway, the obsessive nerd in me is holding out hope that this was a set-up for the character to come back to life in next year's Days of Future Past and retcon one of the X-3's biggest blunders: turning the cosmic force of death and rebirth that is The Phoenix into a figment of Jean's crazy. DOFP (acronym!) director Brian Singer has said that he wants to 'fix' some of the things that went oh so terribly wrong with part 3. You know, when I think about it, the only reason to see The Wolverine at all is for the post-credit teaser which links it to the First Class sequel...actually, here, I'll save you the trouble and spoil the hell out of it right now...

The Professor's mutant abilities
include telepathy and tele-retcon-athy.

Still there? Ok, so the scene introduces Trask* Industries, meaning we finally get to see Sentinels in the live-action X-Men universe. I guess the writers of the previous films felt that the 30-foot, flying, purple murderbots were too unrealistic for a movie about mutations that cause super powers instead of extra toes and heart disease. Next, Magneto and Professor X pop up with a dire warning (presumably about the aforementioned murderbots) and yes, Magneto's got his powers back and Professor X, who had exploded in X-Men 3, is apparently feeling much better. Awesome.

So to sum up: The Wolverine is ok, but perfunctory ($.50!), and the best part is after the credits. In just 90 seconds the DOFP teaser gives Mags back his powers, raises Charles from the grave and promises giant goddamn robots. Here Brian Singer, take my 11 dollars and my everlasting love and devotion.

Oh, and did I mention that Peter Dinklage will be playing Bolivar Trask,
the inventor of the Sentinels in Days of Future Past? Well he is, and in
doing so has proved that there is a God and He is a giant nerd.