Jesus H. Who?

So have you every heard of this Jesus guy? Beard? Wears a robe? He's the central figure in Christianity, a belief system around which most of western culture has revolved around for the last 2000 years or so. No? You haven't heard of him?

Above: Jesus, seen here arm wrestling the Prince of Darkness for control of Middle Earth,
is the founder of an obscure, and oft persecuted religious movement known as Christianity. 

Darly Banther: single-handedly
informing people about Jesus.

Well now you probably never will. Thanks to efforts by non-Christians, practitioners of this little-known faith has been relegated to second-class status. Did you know that it's not even legal to go up to other people's children in a parking lot and confront them with pamphlets and surveys about their religious beliefs? Daryl Banther sure knows it, as the city of Ringgold recently asked him to stop harassing people at a Memorial Day street festival.

Well, I guess that about
sums up Daryl Banther.

"...if I was an atheist at a football game and I didn't like the prayer being said I could get it taken out of the football games, or if I'm anything else I have rights, but as a Christian we have rights no more, they've taken all the Christian rights away and I'm gonna stand for what's right."

-Daryl Banther, has rights no more

And thus ends both prayer at football games and the belief system of 2.2 billion people. Thanks atheists, you've ruined everything.

"Well now what the fuck am I going to do?"

-Tim Tebow

"Come back to Elmo's van and Elmo will
teach you about the Kingdom of Heaven!"*

Sigh...ok, so totally subtle sarcasm aside, sometimes I don't think the Daryl Banthers of the world quite understand exactly what religious freedom is. Sure, he was asked to stop handing out his religious pamphlets at the festival, but that's not because he's a Christian, it's because he was haranguing strangers about religion. In fact, he could have haranguined from the comfort of his own booth had he filled out the proper paperwork. Banther was just being goddamned creepy so the police asked him to stop.

Religious freedom is the freedom to practice (or not practice) whatever batshit crazy belief in the supernatural you want without the fear of being fed to the lions or set on fire. It doesn't really cover chasing people around the parking lot with religious tracts...that's just being obnoxious.

"Rawr! We told you to knock it off with the Watchtower! Rawr!"

-Hungry Lion

*um...I'd like to point out that that's some creeper in an Elmo suit. I'm totally not making a Kevin Clash crack.