Wednesday, July 3, 2024

Today in how old a pretend space wizard is:

Above: heroes.
Amidst an oppressive heatwave, judicial miscarriage that promises to doom this country to a dictator, like an actual dictator, and two ongoing wars, one group of--let's call them heroes--has the courage, nay the fortitude to speak out about the only truly important issue of our times: The Acolyte's reckless disregard for Star Wars canon with the inclusion of Ki-Adi-Mundi in a recent episode, and Star Wars fan site Wookiepedia's blind allegiance to doing the bidding of Kathleen Kennedy and her woke liberal agenda something something indecipherable angry noise.

And by heroes I mean the psychopaths who have been evidently levying death threats at the editors of Wookipedia, the unofficial Star Wars wiki because, yikes.
"Death threats are only illegal when they're official acts."
-The Supreme Court
Above: yeah, the cone head guy who
absolutely nobody cared about until they
decided to be mad about The Acolyte.
Here, allow me to nerdsplain: The Acolyte--which is fine by the way--is set about a hundred years before Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. A recent episode of the series featured an appearance by a younger version of a Jedi called Ki-Ali-Mundi who was introduced in The Phantom Menace. Because Star Wars, Mundi had an elaborate backstory in the pre-Disney Expanded Universe that placed him as something like sixty years old in Episode I, which conflicts with his appearance in The Acolyte.

Pictured: a wiki about made-up things.
Except it doesn't, since Disney made a point of disregarding Expanded Universe continuity with their purchase of Star Wars from George Lucas. So in addition to being a ridiculous thing to threaten wiki editors with murder over--the editors had the temerity to update the wiki to reflect the revised backstory--it's also incorrect. Canon is whatever Disney says it is, and officially new canon supersedes Expanded Universe, now called Legends canon.

The Federation starship Firefly.
But I'm not sure that's, you know, relevant? I don't think I'm going out on a limb when I say that there's no edit one can make to any page on Wookiepedia that would warrant a death threat. They could change the Millennium Falcon page to say it runs of dilithium crystals and is bigger on the inside thanks to Time Lord technology, and it still wouldn't make a violent reaction justified. What even is wrong with them? What even is wrong with us as a civilization?

Lots, as evidenced by this week's assertion that Presidents can just straight up murder people if they feel like it. The fact that reasonable people have come out in support of the site and #WeStandWithWookiepedia is trending are small, if bright spots in the otherwise depressing tale of grown-ass adults working themselves into a rabid-foam frenzy over made up nonsense like how old a pretend space wizard is.
If only we could redirect this righteous indignation towards something more constructive.
Like, and I'm just throwing out ideas here, preventing our actual spiral towards totalitarianism?


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