Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Why not blimps indeed?

I don't know if I've mentioned this before (I have), so it may come as a bit of a surprise (it won't), but I don't like flying. Like, I can get on a plane if I absolutely have to, but it's an anxiety-filled ordeal and why not blimps? Can we just take blimps?
You have one dramatic, spectacular disaster that is forever seared
into the public consciousness and they never let you forget it... 
Here, watch these crashing waves instead of
thinking about how you're hurtling unsupported
through the sky at hundred of miles per hour.
I ask because according to Rosen Aviation, the future of air travel is windowless tubes of OLED screens running pictures of windows. Yeah. Their innovation--and I use the word sarcastically as indicated by the italics--is to replace windows on planes with screens that will display scenery as well as information about about the flight and even details about landmarks you might be flying over. So instead of enjoying the view, you can have the plane tell you about it. Cool, I'll just close my eyes and wait for the flight to be over.

The ludicrously named Maverick Project "was born from trying to bring tomorrow's technology into tomorrow's plane" gushes Lee Clark, the company's senior VP for strategy and, one presumes, awkward phrasing.

"Then what's the goddamn point?"
-Me
He went on to tell CNN that:

"One of the elements that is most critical for Rosen is the integration of technology seamlessly, that it's almost invisible technology."

-Lee Clark, on how invisible 
the cabin-spanning OLED 
wall panel displays will be

Yeah, ok, but why? Well, the CNN article points to structural advantages and I guess that makes sense. The tiny windows on planes essentially being weak points in the fuselage, but I'm just making that up. I'm not an engineer. What I am, however, is cynical and suspicious of any company whose website talks more about innovation and "stakeholders" than it does telling us what they actually do. 
"Our mission may be simple, but it's powerful. In advocating for each
of our stakeholders, we're ever mindful of their sometimes-competing
desires and define our results through their collective success."
-Rosen Aviation's mission statement...
which is about planes? I think?
Wouldn't translucent displays hovering
mid-air be, like, super-hard to read?
It feels like this is more about coming up with something that feels futuristic than practical or even desirable. The company boasts that they were recently up for an award for its holographic plane controls which let cabin crews operate the craft without having to touch the filthy, filthy control panels, which, sure. I suppose that's ok, but "holographic?" It sounds like motion sensors to me, but someone saw Iron Man so here we are, talking about holographic controls. The stakeholders love it.

Interesting word choice given how well
trickle down anything has worked out.
Oh well, you and I aren't likely to endure a six hour flight surrounded by a screen saver anytime soon. Clark is pretty clear that this is a rich people thing:

"It completely fits into business, first class--and I think some of those technologies can even trickle down to the coach environment.

-Lee Clark, sounding like quite the dick

But whatever. As stakeholder-enticing as things like holograms and OLED walls are, I'd personally be thrilled if someone would come up with something truly innovative: like tranquilizer darts so the cabin crew could knock out anti-maskers who loose their shit. Or legroom. That would be great.
Seriously, this is a problem. Can't someone shift some paradigms
or re-brand some mindshares and innovate us up some legroom?

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