Our Lady of Perpetual 501c3 Status

So I guess what I want to know is how long until they loose their tax-exempt status? The Catholic Church I mean. Because something tells me that it's never. It's never isn't it?

"Yeah, not a chance in hell."

-The Catholic Church

"If you think that's metal, wait
'till you hear what we believe."

-The Catholic Church

I ask because the U.S. Council of Bishops have voted to move forward on a measure that could lead to a decision to-look, I don't know, it's complicated, but basically the President is Catholic, right? No, this isn't like a "do bears shit in the woods" joke. Joe Biden is Catholic and communion is an important part of that. It's actually an important part of a lot of Christian denominations, but for most of them it's a ritual in which the congregation eats bread (or crackers usually) and drinks wine, and these represent the body and blood of Jesus. Metal, right?

"Body of--wait, is this? This is
super-weird, right? It's not just me?

-all priests at some point

Yes. But it's also symbolic, unless you're Catholic, in which case the bread and wine are literally transformed into the flesh and blood of Jesus. It is, and I think Catholics would agree, super weird to outsiders. The point is, is that it's a huge deal and the U.S. Council of Bishops is getting together to decide if Joe Biden is even allowed to be a part of it anymore because of his support for reproductive rights. And to be clear, he's not pro-abortion, no one is. He is, like most Americans, pro-you have a choice.

"Hey, let's ask these celibate men what
they think about reproductive rights."

-No one, ever

In fact, according to Pew Research, more than half of Catholics, 56% are pro-choice. And even more of them, 68%, say Roe v. Wade should not be overturned, meaning that 12% of Catholics oppose abortion, but don't support taking the right away from others. Yet the council voted 168-55 in favor of drafting a whatever that could eventually lead to Joe Biden getting shut out of a major part of his religious belief system because the people who run the Catholic Church in America don't like that women can exercise control over their own bodies. 

So what gives? Turns out the Catholic Church isn't a democracy. But America is (for the moment anyway), and that's where we have a problem, because we're supposed to keep Church out of State and vice-versa. The Council isn't singling out Joe Biden, although most of the conversation is about him because he's, you know, the President, but instead they're proposing that communion be denied to any Catholic politician whose platforms don't line up with Church doctrine. Which brings me back to the tax thing.

A handful of out-of-touch, conservative men using out-sized authority
in direct opposition to the will of the majority? Huh...what's that like?

Oh, like that time the Mormon Church
lost its tax exempt status for lobbying for
Prop 8. Remember that? Yeah, me neither.

The Internal Revenue Service, in probably the most gripping piece of tax code I've ever tried to parse on a Saturday morning, says that:

"Contributions to political campaign funds or public statements of position (verbal or written) made on behalf of the organization in favor of (or in opposition to) any candidate for public office clearly violates the prohibition against political activity. Violation of the prohibition may result in denial or revocation of tax exempt status..."

-The IRS's totally iron-clad

and universally applied rules

Not sure an organization that shielded child
predators for decades should really be taking
the moral highground, but here we are.

I'm not even a little bit a lawyer, but in threatening to punish Catholic officials for not aligning with the Church's policies, they're clearly making a statement of position "in opposition to" office holders. The Church is against abortion. We get it. And it would be one thing for Joe Biden's priest to say to him in private, "abortion is wrong, we wish you wouldn't support it." That's between The President and his beliefs. But it's an entirely different thing for the Church to hold a huge conference on whether or not to leverage its authority over the spiritual life of American officials to try and influence policy. The threat is effectively a statement of position.

And that's what it is: a threat. A serious one depending on how religious someone is, and the President seems pretty serious about his faith. It would be like threatening to wall up that secret tunnel JFK used to meet up with his mistresses, or telling Donald Trump that he can't lock children in cages anymore. 

I'm kidding, there was no secret Kennedy mistress tunnel, 
although Donald Trump does love human suffering. That one's real.

"Not going to lie, it's pretty sweet."

-The inexplicably tax-exempt Jeff Bezos

Churches can't go around threatening politicians with damnation, or if they do, they should start paying taxes like (almost) everybody else. What I'm saying is that they can either be a 501(c)(3) and enjoy the kind of tax exempt status we normally reserve for our wealthiest billionaires or they can be a political organization and harass people outside of Planned Parenthood--which, incidentally--stop goddamn doing that. They do more to prevent abortions than the anyone--sorry getting off track. 

Google: Because it's easier than
knowing what you're talking about.

My point is, politics or church. They can't do both. Or, well, I guess they can. I mean, they've gotten away with it forever, but they shouldn't be able to. I don't want to tell the Council of Bishops how to tell other people how to live their lives, and I'm no theologian, but I did do an exhaustive google search, and I don't think Bible actually address abortion. At all. And not all Christian denominations oppose all abortion rights, so it's the Catholic Church's position, not necessarily a religious one based in scripture, right?

Tax-exempt status notwithstanding, if most Catholics disagree with The Church's position on abortion, they're not disagreeing with God or the Bible, they're disagreeing with the people who run The Church, so the Pope and the U.S. Council of Bishops. So from The Church's perspective, is this really something they should be alienating Catholics over? I mean, you can't tell people they're doing it wrong if they don't show up.

Also, cynically speaking, it's going to be hard to pay property
taxes if no one's there to fill the collection plates.