Galactic Schadenfreude!

Hey, guess what today is? Why yes, it is First Contact Day...how'd you know that? I was looking forward to the big reveal, but fine. Yeah, First Contact Day. The day, forty-two years from now, when aliens will land. This according to the 1996 movie and definitely accurate guide to the future, Star Trek: First Contact. These aliens's arrival will unite humanity and help lift us out of the bombed-out shell of our post-nuclear war wasteland.

They'll also roll their eyes and give us no end of shit for 
our illogical behavior and our many human emotions. 

Oh yes they are.

Yeah, Star Trek is actually kind of a bummer when you think about it. Although I think we're a little less worried now about nuclear war then we were when the movie was made. It's not to say we're not doomed. I mean, we have climate change, global pandemics, and actual white supremacists just roaming the streets and storming the Capital and what I'm getting at is that if there are really aliens out there, what are they waiting for? 

Cool...

We've clearly demonstrated that we cannot handle things on our own. Like, with COVID, all we had to do was wear masks. That's it. Yet we're surrounded by people who just couldn't be bothered, so it's still a thing a year later. Or what about climate change? All we had to do was switch to clean energy and-ok, that is admittedly trickier. But I mean, it was a choice between recycling and switching to electric cars or dying in the upcoming Water Wars and nine out of ten of us picked the Water Wars. Nine out of ten. Can you believe it? Huh? Yeah, so can I...

Jeff Bezos would quickly learn 
that no one has to laugh at his jokes
in a post-scarcity civilization. 

Anyway, now would be a swell time for some technologically advanced species of extraterrestrials to swoop down out of the sky and start handing out cures for all known earth-diseases, anti-matter reactors, and replicators. Not only would it solve so many of our problems, but can you imagine the looks on the faces of the ultra-wealthy? Think of it, where would the Jeffs Bezos, the Elons Musks, the Pharmas Bro of the world be if everyone just had a little device in their kitchen that spat out a limitless supply of food, clothing, insulin, or whatever else we needed? 

It would be goddamn sweet. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm looking forward to First Contact, not just because of the mind-blowing ramifications it would have for us and our place in the universe, but also because of schadenfreude. Lots of schadenfreude. 

Unless of course the aliens who land are
like hyper-capitalists or something. Then we'd
just be back where we started from.