A crime of whimsey!

Is it weird that I'm amused by Lego crime? Ok, yeah, it probably is. And sure, crime is crime and crime is bad, but the headline: "French police on the trail of international gang of Lego looters?" I mean, c'mon, it's a crime of unbridled whimsey. But it's also a crime of unbridled robbery, which I suppose is less amusing. 

"Alons-y! Je cherche des indices!"

-Some French inspector

Move over Defenestrations of Prague!

So back in June, French police arrested three people in the act of robbing a toy store in Yvelines, which is near Paris. The suspects, all of whom are Polish, are evidently part of an international ring of Lego thieves. Their strategy involved setting up in a Paris hotel and using it as a base from which they'd then rob a bunch of toy stores before returning to Poland to sell their ill-gotten interlocking Danish plastic bricks, making this quite possibly the most Euro-crime imaginable. 

Remember kids: tiny crime doesn't pay.

And this isn't even the first time. The gang had been reported in France at least twice before and focuses on stealing high-end and collectable sets which necessarily command higher prices on the Lego black market. Which is apparently a thing that is real and exists in Europe. Although in fairness, it's also a thing that exists here in the states. Back in 2018 Portland police busted a group of thieves who'd been stealing Lego sets and selling them online to pay for opium...which is somewhat less whimsical. 

Unfortunately for the thieves, French
Police have been issued protective footware.

So I'll just stick to the French story, which, to my knowledge, doesn't involve opium. I just can't get the image out of my head of a group of hardened criminals fleeing the French equivalent of a Toys 'R' Us (Jouets C'est Nous?) with armloads of Harry Potter and Batman Lego sets, throwing loose blocks like caltrops on the ground behind them to slow up the cops. All set against the sound of those ridiculous French police sirens that go wee-ooo-wee-ooo. I know it's a crime and everything, but you have to admit, it's an adorable one, right?

Anyway, the article says that French authorities are building a case against the thieves which I'd like to think they meant as an hilarious pun. You know, because Legos? Building things? There's probably a joke in there somewhere. Doesn't matter, it probably just means they're gathering evidence and interviewing witnesses. 

Although if they are building a case, let's hope
they have better instructions than the ones that
 come in the box. See? I got there in the end.