I still say the Snyder cut wasn't a thing.

Let it never be said that hashtags don't work. Years of fans begging, cajoling and outright threatening Warner Bros. for another opportunity to give them their money, the studio has reluctantly agreed to take them up on it and is releasing the Snyder cut. Sort of?

"Thanks no, we've got enough money."

-No production company ever

"Feast, feast on the carcasses
 of failed artistic endeavor."

-Walmart

Yeah, Zach Snyder announced that the long-rumored, never confirmed to actually exist cut of a mediocre movie that nobody liked when it came out and even fewer liked when it ended up in bargain DVD bins. For people with lives who shrugged indifferently when Justice League flopped and then never gave it a second thought, I'll nerd'splain. In an attempt to have their own MCU, Warner Bros. cranked out a series of so-so DC movies, all the while assuring us they were leading up to some amazing Justice League team-up movie.

When they finally got to work on League, film's original director, Zach Snyder, left the production for personal reasons and Warner Bros. brought Avengers director Joss Whedon in to finish it.

Although in fairness, no director would have been up to the task of
making a movie that would make Suicide Squad worth sitting through. 

Above: Justice League's source material.

But then Whedon's Justice League was greeted with universal "m'eh." It was long, boring, and full of CG-nonsense. I mean, for a movie about characters from 1970's kids' bedsheets it just took itself way too seriously. And that was kind of surprising given that Whedon's Avengers was pretty good. But instead of just moving on with their lives, fans wouldn't let it go. Maybe it was because of the troubled production or maybe it was just that they wanted it to be better, but the idea that Zach Snyder had actually finished a better version of the movie surfaced and the hashtagging began.

Nothing brings a performance out of
an actor like contractual obligation.

And now it's totally paid off. Once again the creative democracy that is the internet will deliver exactly the film comic fans wanted. Except that no it didn't and no it won't. According to the announcement, this isn't the long-awaited release of a finished movie that's been sitting in a drawer somewhere just to torment fans. Instead, it will be a re-edited, re-scored, six chapter miniseries cobbled together with new effects and even dialogue they're dragging the cast back in to record. 

"The boring bits? All Whedon."

-Zach Snyder

According to Snyder, the movie we saw was only a quarter his and that this new release will be an entirely new thing:

"It will be an entirely new thing [see?], and, especially taking to those who have seen the released movie, a new experience apart from that movie."

-Zach Snyder, diplomatically not referring to

the theatrical release as an unmitigated shitshow 

Ok, so is there a Snyder cut? Was there ever? Because if there is or was, this doesn't sound like it. Sure, Zach Snyder is revisiting his own film, but sounds like the studio recycling a commercial failure to make something new. And that's fine, I mean, it can't possibly be worse. But if this is a Justice League re-dux with the aim of recouping losses by repurposing a bad movie, then call it that. Because presenting it as some kind of fan victory is only going to encourage us to make demands. It's why you don't negotiate with terrorists.

I guess what I'm saying is, if they give in to the fans on this,
sooner or later, they're just going to have to bring back Firefly.