Monday, May 18, 2020

Because emoluments clauses are for poors.

Is he holding their families hostage or
 are they just dumb and racist? Both?
The Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals has ruled that the emoluments case against Trump can proceed, outraging the President who has long maintained that as president, he is immune to investigations into or prosecution for any crimes he has committed, or may commit in the future. He's previously also insisted that he is immune to COVID-19, cholesterol and the harmful effects of staring directly into the sun during an eclipse, leaving many to wonder: "no really, what is wrong with him and the people who still support him? I'm seriously asking. Because this is a problem."

Coincidentally, the President has named
his fists Corruption (right) and Graft (left).
The emoluments clause of the Constitution prevents a sitting president from profiting from the office and from accepting gifts or payments from a sovereign state. It's designed to prevent corruption and graft. Trump, by contrast, still owns and profits from his many businesses, openly promotes them and encourages both domestic agencies and foreign governments to patronize his many hotels and golf courses...so exactly what the emoluments clause says he can't do.

The District of Columbia and Maryland are arguing that, you know, he's in direct violation of constitutional law. The President however is making the counter argument that laws are dumb and that he has unlimited power.
Pictured: President Trump, seen here electrocuting his political opponents
with dark force lightning while shrieking about his unlimited power.
"What? All I'm saying is that the President's
power is total and he's above the law
just like the founding fathers intended. "
According to one of the President's many and I'm sure, overworked personal lawyers:

"We disagree with the decision of the Fourth Circuit. This case is another example of Presidential harassment. We will be seeking review at the Supreme Court."

-Jay Sekulow, the hollowed
out shell of a lawyer  


Above: just some of the many women
for whom Presidential Harassment
means something else entirely. 
For those keeping score, he's taking about appealing to the Supreme Court. You know, the same one to which Trump has appointed two members. For life. So you know, that's cool, I'm sure justice will be, you know, whatever. Also, I should point out his use of the phrase "presidential harassment." It's something Republicans made up recently to describe Donald Trump being held accountable for crimes, and shouldn't be confused with the twenty-five separate accusations of sexual harassment brought against the President.

Ok, what happens now? Probably nothing. If the aforementioned Supreme Court throws out the appeal, then sure, the case might move forward, but when it comes to the law, Trump's track record so far has been pretty foot-draggy and openly defiant. Hey, remember when when crimes were illegal? That was great. 
 Pictured: Trump International in Washington D.C,
seen here violating the emoluments clause.

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