Today in let's get'em:

"I'll prescribe this, but I'll need a
note from your supervisor first."

I know, I know, we're all sick of talking about pandemics and closures and dumb idiots ignoring pandemic related closures, but are you for goddamn kidding me with this? What this? This this. It's a story from Business Insider about how Hobby Lobby refused to close despite the pandemic. Yeah, Hobby Lobby, you might remember them as the hyper-Evangelical chain of craft stores that fought and won against the federal government over having to provide healthcare that covers emergency contraceptives.

No. Do not do this.

Ok, big deal. A lot of idiot CEO's are forcing underpaid staff to put their lives at risk to stay open. But that's out of greed, Hobby Lobby's staying open because God told them they should. Sort of. According to Owner David Green, his wife received a message from God saying that "He's [God] in control." A message Green is interpreting as meaning that pipe cleaners, crochet needles, and glue sticks are essential goods during a crisis.

Yeah, Babs got a reassuring message from God, so thirty-two thousand Hobby Lobby employees can now choose between complying with local law or loosing what I can only assume is a job they only kinda care about, but need so they can eat and pay rent.

Pictured: David Green, founder of Hobby Lobby and
Barbara Green, prophet and voice of God on Earth...apparently.

"Oh yeah! I bring the word of God,
and he wants you to drink some of this!"

And look, I not knocking anyone's beliefs here, but-wait, I am knocking their beliefs. Specifically David and Barbara's belief that they, in their capacity as owners of a craft store chain, are some kind of conduit for the word of God. Admittedly, I don't know if God talks to Barbara or David or anyone else for that matter. It's not important. What is important is that it takes a special kind of terrifying hubris to suggest that God speaks through you. Claiming to be God's mouthpiece usually goes hand in hand with a bunker full of guns and arsenic-laced Koo-Aid.

I'll believe Jesus appeared in this
tortilla before I'll believe he talks
to Dave and Barbara Green.

I'm not saying Barbara and David Green are insane for taking a message from God seriously, just insane for thinking that God cares about whether or not their dumb craft stores are open or not. Insane and possibly criminal for asking employees to endanger themselves and the customers by defying shelter in place orders. I'm no theologian, but from what I do understand of the Green's purported faith, I'm pretty sure God's pissed at them. Not just for their appalling wealth-Jesus famously not pro rich-but also for their appalling contempt for the people that work for them.

I mean, look at this. Don't worry, I'll sum up. A memo has surfaced in which the company is instructing managers to deny sick leave to employees. Instead, staff are to use up personal vacation time and when that runs out just be poor I guess. Did I mention that the Greens are worth four point nine billion dollars? Of money? Because this is a bold, dickish move for someone so rich when civilization is so close to collapse...

Conveniently, Hobby Lobby sells the thick wooden dowels and picture nails
 we can use to fashion the crude spiked clubs we'll need for the coming upheaval.