Today in entirely plausible:

And he shoots them in front of children
they bus in from local D.C. schools just
so he can bask in their tears. 

I know that there's nothing, literally nothing we as rational people can do or say to convince people still riding the Trump bus that maybe it's time to get off. Like, he's been repeatedly accused of sexual assault, he leaps to the defense of Nazis and he actually hunts puppies for sport. Like, right there on the White House lawn. Sure, I made that last one up, but even if I didn't, do any of us think that it'd make a difference to the people who still, despite all the incompetence, still wear those dumb MAGA hats and show up for his rallies?

The answer I'm looking for is no, because holy shit, White House officials told CNN today that the CIA pulled an undercover agent deep in the Russian government back in 2017 because they were afraid that the dumb idiot most of us didn't vote for anyway would get them killed. Of course, in a move surprising to no one, the CIA is now denying this.

Although it was probably only a matter of time before
undercover operative Ted Nugent was discovered...

(source: like anyone cares about sources)

And now that everyone in charge of the CIA is a Trump appointee and we're just supposed to accept their full throated support at face value, here's what they have to say:

Pictured: the former head of the CIA
whose security clearance was revoked by
Trump because irony is alive in politics.

"CNN's narrative that the Central Intelligence Agency makes life-of-death decisions based on anything other than objective analysis and sound collection is simply false. Misguided speculation that the President's handling of our nation's most sensitive intelligence-which he has access to each and every day-drove an alleged ex-filtration operation is inaccurate."

-Brittany Bramell, CIA spokesperson,

not saying it didn't happen

All I'm saying is that Trump's
security was foiled by Omarosa.

Yeah, but it's not the same thing as it never happened. First of all, it's part of the CIA's job is to not tell us things. Secondly, the President is basically a 243 pound toddler with first strike capability who fills important posts with friends and family members, so pulling an operative because Trump might out them to Vladimir Putin over cheeseburgers is 100% a smart move based on objective analysis and sound collection. Oh, and remember that time the President wasn't exonerated by the Muller investigation? Cool.

They know he's a gameshow host
and not like, a meteorologist right?

And lastly and more importantly, how are we supposed to believe anything anyone says anymore? Remember that time the President called us all idiots by changing the map of where hurricane Dorian was going to land? And then the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration backed him him and his revised, yet dumb claim that it would hit Alabama? Welp, it turns out it was only because Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross threatened to fire them if they didn't.

I mean, who are these people? Anyway, the point I'm making isn't that the CIA thing is definitely true just because I, personally, have a low opinion of technically the President Donald Trump and want to believe it. It's that this seems so entirely plausible that I have no trouble at all believing it and that in itself is a problem. Again, this is someone willing to fire the head of NOAA because their correct forecast disagreed with a map he scribbled on.

Not only do I buy that we pulled a spy out of Russia before Trump
could get them killed, but I think it would have been kind of criminal not to.