He knows what 'scam' means, right?

Just so I'm tracking all this, before the election Trump was only going to accept the results if he won. Then he did win, you know, technically, so the results were fine. A triumph of democracy. But then it became clear that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote so he said-sorry, he Tweeted that if there was no electoral college, he would have won even bigger and more easily. Great, sure. So then Jill Stein was all, 'Let's do a recount, because you know, democracy is at stake.' And Trump's like, 'hey, what a scam.'

"Yeah Donald, it's all a big scam. Life's incredibly unfair. To you."

-the woman most of us voted for

Yes, it's exactly this level of
bananas, but here we are.

Leaving aside the fact that most of us, like by a margin of more than two million people voted for a completely different person to be President, that's a lot of nerve right? I mean at no point did Jill Stein suggest that the recount would change anything, it's just about making sure Russian hackers didn't screw with our election-which, a few weeks ago would have sounded like paranoid delusion but now is actually on the table. Not likely, but also not entirely in the realm of tin-foil hats because holy shit they've totally been screwing with our election.

And then, and then, the crowning pièce ce de crázy:

Sure. Why not?

Just so were clear, not voting
for Trump isn't in itself illegal.

Millions who voted illegally based on what? I mean, if you're the president-elect and you're going to make a public statement that calls into question the validity of the electoral process that made you the president-elect, shouldn't you, I don't know, have a shred of evidence? And look, at no point am I ever going to be convinced that Trump is not a dangerous, hot-tempered, thin-skinned narcissist who acts before he thinks and then doesn't even think, but holy shit, take his phone away.

Also, if it was widespread voter fraud that gave Clinton the popular vote win, shouldn't the vast cabal of Democratic operatives have rigged it so that she won the electoral vote too? I'm not like an expert election rigger or anything, but that seems like a no-brainer.

For those keeping score: the election was fair because Trump won the electoral college.
Sure, he didn't win the popular vote but that was definitely because of cheating, but don't look
at the results too closely because that's just a scam. Got all that? Cool. Is America great again now?