And now it's personal...

You weren't using that 401K, were you?

In response to the President's voter mandated tanking of the global economy, Nintendo has announced that they'll be delaying preorders for the just-unveiled Switch 2. They were due to start taking--huh? Wait, you mean to say that the narrow election victory in which most voters voted for someone other than a convicted felon wasn't a mandate to fire federal workers, wipe out trillions of dollars of stock values and reduce America's standing on the world stage to slightly above North Korea? But...but, why would he say it was unless...oh...oh no.

You don't suppose he doesn't know what he's doing, do you? Like, that he has no idea and is just flailing, lurching from one bad move to the next heedless of the chaos and lasting damage he's causing? I ask because he's famously bad at business. And president-ing. And didn't we go through this last time? And it sucked?

Or maybe he's just out golfing...hey, does he think stocks work like
golf scores? Like, the lower the better? That might explain a lot...

What? I'm not wrong. I'll stop calling
them dumb when they stop acting dumb.

Now look, as someone who reached adulthood in the late nineties and early two-thousands, I was at no point under the delusion that I would be able to retire. So, in many ways the disastrous financial consequences of half the country's (the dumb half, there I said it) President of choice aren't particularly shocking to me. The entire trajectory of my life has seen a steady decline in the likelihood of home ownership, financial security, and not dying under a mountain of medical debt, set against the worst wealth inequality since the Gilded Age.

Pictured: the stock marker being
liberated of thousands of points.

But at least we had video games, right? Soothing, escapist video games...Well, about that. Nintendo has announced that they'll be delaying the pre-orders for the Switch 2, the follow-up to their successful handheld gaming console, that they announced on Wednesday. Remember Wednesday? "Liberation Day?" They need to asses the impact of Trump's tariffs. You know, those things his supporters thought China was going to pay for? Because they literally don't know the meaning of the word "tariff." (see above, and again, I'm not sorry).

Hey, cheer up buddy.
At least we're not woke, amiright?

The Switch 2 was already going to cost four-hundred and fifty dollars of money. An obscene amount, sure, but reasonable when you factor in how much distraction we're going to need during the next few years. Oh, and it's actually five-hundred, if you want Mario Kart, which, obviously. And the tariff is going to increase that even more. Because consumers pay for tariffs...like we kept trying to tell the dumbs, but they're more interested in Hunter Biden's laptop and throwing themselves between protestors and Tesla dealerships. 

Anyway, to be clear, I'm more concerned (in no particular order) about the arbitrary and illegal deportations, the attacks on trans and queer rights, the racism, the misogyny, the climate, Federal agencies, Federal workers, but that's the beauty of being a millennial (fine, xennial): I have can have a nervous breakdown about more than one thing at a time. 

So let's turn that debilitating anxiety into positive action! And posters!