Today in why you should read the fine print:

Pictured: not a Gameboy

See that? That's not a Gameboy. It looks like a Gameboy, but instead it's a 21st century, FPGA-based (don't worry about it) handheld gaming console that happens to play Gameboy games. And yes, upon learning of its existence, I pre-ordered one. Why would I make such an impulsive move? Because scarcity, that's why. Remember the NES Classic debacle? Or the PS5 hootenanny? Despite the entire Industrial Revolution, there never seems to be enough of these things to go around. 

What? I don't like gettin lumped in with Gen-X.
They're all like fifteen years older than I am.

Scarcity in video games is a tactic. A tactic I will fall for every time, but at least I know this about myself now. Can they make more of whatever? Sure they can, but they know rubes like me will pounce on them if we think it's going to be hard to find. And pounce I did, so cool story, right? No! It's not a cool story, because just hours later I tried to cancel my pre-order. In my haste to secure one of these young Gen-Xer/Elder Millennial nostaglia stroking devices, I failed to notice that it was a Palmer Luckey joint.

Yeah, I don't remember him either, but
he has a decidedly punchable fact, doesn't he?

Who even is Palmer Luckey? Great question. You may have noticed that I've been less, shall we say, politically shrill of late? Huh? You haven't noticed? Ah. Well, anyway, I am, and it's because I live in cold terror that a certain convicted felon might somehow electoral college his way pack into a position of power and it's stressing me out. A lot. Like, it's literally keeping me up at night. And just today some rando was walking down the street shouting "Vote Kennedy" (you know, the anti-vax guy? The one with the worm?) which is terrifying.

We've been down this road before
people and look what happened that time.

Not because I don't think people have a right to their own opinions, I do, it's just that that particular opinion may well end democracy in America forever. No matter what we may think of the system, it's been very carefully divvied up between the two dominant political parties. No, it's not fair, but since we're not likely to get a ranked choice voting system before November, we all have to vote for Joe Biden or the aforementioned felonious goon is back. 

And yet they lack the part of the brain
necessary to appreciate the irony here.

I'm not trying to bum anyone out, but that's the math. But what does this have to do with my impulse purchase? Luckey Palmer, that's what. He was the designer of the Oculus Rift, but went on to found a defense contractor company that builds drones for the military. Sounds a little Elon Musky, right? Well yes, except he went right-wing nutter back in his twenties, writing checks to pro-Trump groups including one that put up those "Too Big to Jail" billboards during the 2016 election.  

He's a real piece of work and today I handed him two hundred dollars of money for a fancy off-brand Gameboy. Yeah, I'm judging me too, but I mean, it's like a really nice fancy Gameboy, and I'm only human. But, in my defense, I'm trying to get said money back as we speak, so cut me some slack?

Pictured: that time most of us voted for Hillary Clinton but one of 
the worst people ever ended up President because the Founding Fathers
wanted to make sure under-populated states felt appreciated.