Oh, the other F-word...

I'm kidding, they're equally transphobic.

I don't want to tell the Pope how to pope, but seriously. Seriously. Ok, obviously he didn't write his own apology, someone on his staff did and--huh? Oh! You didn't hear? Pope Francis, you know, the Cool Pope dropped the F-word in a meeting. No, not fuck the homophobic F-word. Specifically the Italian version of it. Evidently he and some Italian Bishops--which I gather are like, the Jedi Council for Catholics--were discussing whether or not to allow gay men to enter seminaries--which are like, I don't know, Hogwarts for priests only not as transphobic?

It's from the latin meaning "seed plot,"
so like, get your mind out of the gutter.

Are there like a ton of gay men knocking on the doors of seminaries? Who even knows? Although on paper it does seem like a great place to meet single men. Doesn't matter, the point is Cool Pope was having none of it saying that there was too much--and trigger warning if you speak Italian--frociaggine--in seminaries already. Which, yikes. So first of all, you can probably work out what that word means from the context, and I can assure you, it's not--as one might guess--a variety of pasta. And secondly, is that a thing? That seminaries are famously gay? 

"Seminaries, amiright guys?"

-The Pope, evidently

So much so that Catholic upper-management jokes about it? But ok, fine, whatever. Maybe he's not as cool a Pope as we all thought. I mean, he's maybe less openly hostile towards queer people than the rest of the organization, but he's still on team "no gay stuff." And he is pushing ninety. That's not an excuse, I'm just saying that sometimes people say shitty things becaus they're set in their ways. What's bothering me is the apology Matteo Bruni, the Director of the Holy See Press Office issued. 

Um, we're all aware of the articles.
That's what the internet is for.

First, after acknowledging that the Pope is "aware of articles" about him dropping a homophobic slur, he goes on to say:

"The Pope never intended to offend of express himself in homophobic terms, and he apologizes to those who felt offended by the use of a term, as reported by others."

-Matteo Bruno, il dottore in giro

"Technically, no. It's a pretty sweet deal."

-The Pope, infallibly

He doesn't use the conditional apology. Instead it's: "he's sorry if anyone was offended," which is like, spokesperson 101 for when you want to suggest that the people who take issue with something are wrong to be offended. But he does expertly distance the Pope from any sort of responsibility. "...to those who felt offended..." and "the use of a term..." Oh, and "...as reported by others." I mean, did he drop the F-word (again, not fettuccini) or did other people just report that he did? Is anything his fault?

So like I said, I don't want to tell the Pope how to pope or his press secretary how to bullshit, but conditional apologies and laying the blame on the people you've just offended for being offended makes one sound cheap, and not very, what's the word? Papal? Oh, and while I'm at it, it sounds like the seminaries are already full of gay men who are willing to look past the Church's medieval views, so maybe stop insulting your own? And better still, maybe rethink some of those views?

"We'd also like to take the opportunity to apologize to anyone who, over the past
thousand years or so, might have felt burned alive for heresy...as reported by others."

-Matteo Bruni, covering some bases