At worst it's a weekend at the lake...

I don't want to yuck anyone's yum here, but I mean, give it up. The Loch Ness monster, I mean. Again, sorry to be a jerk here, but it's not a thing. 

Pictured: Loch Ness. Note the absence of any prehistoric marine reptiles.

So this, but somewhat more...alive.

I bring this up because this weekend, a rag tag team of cryptid enthusiasts are mounting what NPR is calling the largest search in fifty years for the elusive--wait, elusive isn't quite the word. For the non-existant loch-dwelling creature, which believers suggest is some kind of a throwback or a living fossil plesiosaur, while everyone else is pretty sure it's a trick of the light, or a fish, or a clump of debris, or maybe, and I hope you're sitting down for this: a hoax. And I'm not just being cynical or contrary here, but it's a hoax. 

Like, the most famous photograph of the thing was faked by an actor preposterously named Marmaduke Wetherell as part of a weird revenge scheme against The Daily Mail.

I'm more interested in the mystery of what kind
of parents would name their child Marmaduke. 

"Still nothing..."

-what you'll be hearing 

a lot this weekend

But for some reason, this lazily researched blog post by someone with no stake whatsoever in the success or failure of any monster-finding expedition, is likely to do nothing to dissuade Loch Ness Centre founder Alan McKenna and potentially hundreds of volunteers from around the world who are expected to descend upon the loch this weekend with sonar, drones, underwater microphones, and even their eyes. Yeah, a great number of these people are going to be assigned "stare at the lake in case monster" duty. 

Did you read it with a Scottish
accent? Because I definitely did.

If all this sounds boring, pointless, and a little nutty, that's because it probably is. But I'm wondering just how seriously anyone is actually taking this. Check out this quote from founder Alan McKenna's (right, under the hat) Facebook invite:

"If you believe that the Loch Ness Monster exists then we invite you to join the search, we equally invite you to support the story of the Loch and the natural behaviour of the elements that may be the root cause of these strange reports from Loch Ness."

-Alan McKenna, leaving a surprising 

amount of wiggle room for a crackpot

"God? I don't know, maybe? It all
seems kind of out there if you ask me."

-some priest

Wai-wai-wait. "If you believe?" "Strange elements that may be the cause of these strange reports?" Shouldn't he sound a little more, I don't know, convinced that Nessie exists? I mean, he is the founder of an entire Centre dedicated it. I don't know about you, but after reading that, one might get the impression that Alan McKenna isn't 100% sold on the idea. Or at least that he's open to the possibility, nay, the likely possibility that there is a non-monstery explanation for the alleged sightings. 

But who knows? It could be that they'll all just pack a lunch, hang out at the lake--sorry, loch--for a few hours, have a good time, and call it a day. Maybe it's enough that they enjoy the possibility that there could be a Jurassic marine reptile living in cold Scottish lake.

Meet Diane Duyser. She noticed that her grilled cheese sandwich looked
kinda like the Virgin Mary, and sold it on eBay for $28,000. Is it a miracle?
Who can say? But she did get twenty-eight grand for it so...