Today in a bit of an ick:

Look, as a grown ass adult who has played video games--particularly Super Mario-related games--all his life, I'm not embarrassed to tell you that I will probably, at some point, see the Super Mario Bros. movie. 

Ok, maybe slightly embarrassed.
Please don't judge me or tell anyone cool.

Pictured: the closest the SMB
movie is getting to inclusive casting.

Except now there's a bit of ick that comes along with it because according to the Huffington Post, Twitter--which seems to grow ickier by the day--is rife with Right-wing nutters cheering the film as un-woke. Yeah, how'd they get there? Well, John Leguizamo told TMZ that he was boycotting the film over its lack of hispanic inclusion in the casting, which is fair. Leguizamo played Luigi in the bonkers 1993 film adaptation, while this new cast is, with the exception of Keegan-Michael Key (who voices Toad), white. 

I think it's important to note that I was
watching John Leguizamo's Mario movie
while Charlie Kirk was busy being born.

And look, like I said, I've not seen it yet, but no, I can't imagine Universal Studio would alienate everyone in an effort to pander to the red state shit merchants on Twitter. Speaking of:

"Mario Bros. just grossed $377 million...despite John Leguizamo boycotting the film because it "mess up the inclusion" casting two white men...as the Italian American leads. Nintendo refused to let Mario Bros go woke!"

-Charlie Kirk, noted red state shit merchant

Move over, cast of Friends.

Ok, so couple of things. One, John Leguizamo isn't wrong. He's an actor looking at what's essentially a remake (well, a new adaptation) of a movie he was in back in '93. There was a role for a latino actor in that one, but there isn't in this one. Saying it's a step backwards isn't unreasonable. Secondly, no, Nintendo and Universal were not making a conscious decision to appeal to white supremacists. That's just dumb. Thirdly, Mario Bros. is woke.

Italians sure love pasta, amiright?

C'mon, it's about the little guy (Mario), bravely going up against a greedy, militaristic, turtle dragon (Bowser) who wants to control women (specifically Peach) and rule through force. It's a thin narrative and maybe (definitely) I'm reading a little too much into it, but no more than Charlie Kirk and everyone else crowing over how anti-woke they think it is. Yes, Universal and Nintendo could have done a better job casting this movie, but no, they didn't cast it to make mediocre white guys feel seen.

 

Oh, and since we're having fun reading too much into things, the bizarre 1993 version was about two working class, adopted brothers (Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo) fighting to stop President Koopa (Dennis Hopper), from taking over the world. In this version, Koopa is a blonde, autocratic, suit-wearing despot with an inflated sense of self confidence who lives in a big tower he named after himself. He has a short temper, rigs elections, and is so insecure that he punishes descent in all forms. Sound familiar?

Pictured: Dennis Hopper and Mitch McConnell in 1993's Super Mario Bros.