Anyone else tired of this? Oh, right, we all are.

Look, right there in the grocery store.
You don't even have to deal with giblets.

I guess what I'm saying is take all the guns? And look, I know that's kind of naive, but let's negotiate. We'll say we want to take away all the guns, and they'll counter with some nonsense about how a musket-era line about keeping a militia around in case the redcoats show up means they can have assault rifles, and then we'll say, ok, they can keep the hunting rifles because maybe nobody told them they can buy meat in stores, but fine, something something tradition. And we'll go from there.

Racism is a problem everywhere, but
some states just seem to excel at it.

Reasonable. Civilized, right? I mention this because, ok, you probably know why I mention this. Another mass shooting? Yeah, several in fact, but also because a sixteen year old kid called Ralph Yarl rang the wrong doorbell and was shot in the head. Most everybody believes that racism played a role here and it did. Andrew Lester, the man who shot him, is white and this is Missouri so that tracks. But the gun was a component too, right? Or at least the culture in which this guy felt that shoot first was a reasonable response to an unexpected doorbell ring. 

There's no world and no calculus in which that's standing one's ground or self-defense or anything other than straight up murder and a hate crime and--sorry, I know, I'm just preaching to the choir here. I'll stop.

Pictured: basically you.

Better late than never I suppose.

Look, this is awful, and I should have warned you or put up a picture of puppies or something. The good news, if there can be such a thing here, is that Yarl is alive, albeit grievously injured, and that Lester is being charged with assault. And that sounds inadequate, but I gather that assault carries a heavier sentence than attempted murder so it actually sounds like the right move. If convicted, it's a thirty year sentence as opposed to fifteen and Lester is eighty-five years old, so....

If the British came back, we wouldn't even
need to shoot, we could just throw guns at them.

So hurray, right? Justice will surely be done. Except, I mean, will it? Let's say Lester is convicted, which is not a given. It seems pretty open and shut, but how many times have we seen white dudes walk after shooting a person of color? What? It's true. Look at the puppy again if you need to. Ok, let's say he's convicted. Great. Now what? Americans still own 393.3 million guns. That's 1.2 guns per person. And only 32% of Americans own one or more guns, so that's an average of 37 guns per gun owner.

What the actual? I mean, we're shocked and horrified every time there's another mass shooting which is now several times per day, but 393 million guns? Thirty-seven per gun owner? That's insane. That's hoarding behavior, except instead of old newspapers or toilet paper it's deadly weapons. What even is that? It's not a hobby. If I didn't know better, I'd say these people who own guns are just waiting for an opportunity to use them.

Hey gun people, have you considered philately? Sure, stamp collecting is probably not as exciting as
gun ownership, and it's harder to build your entire identity around it, but at least it can't end people.
Also, maybe you shouldn't be making something like guns your whole thing, you know?