Today in gay porn podcast titles:

I mean, of course Donald Trump immediately fell all over himself praising Vladimir Putin's recognition of breakaway provinces in Ukraine. Of course he did. 

"I, how you say, have heem wrapped around finger. Dah?"

-Vladamir Puti--what? He's a monster,

cartoony accents are totally in bounds.

Above: if you pictured something like this when you
heard about The Car Travis and Buck Sexton
Show, you're not correct, but also, you're not alone.

The former President and, God-willing, future defendant, went on "The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show" to--huh? Yeah, know, I thought it had to be a gay pornstar podcast too, but evidently it's a conservative radio show that only airs on weekdays, between noon and three on am radios in Dodge Rams and Ford F-150's. Anyway, after bragging about his high approval ratings (98% percent among people who totally exist!), geopolitical expert Donald "Shithole Countries" Trump gave his opinion of a move the rest of the planet regards as a flimsy and illegal pretext for invading a sovereign nation.

"This is genius. Putin declares a big portion of the Ukraine -- of Ukraine -- Putin declares it as independent. Oh, that's wonderful."

-The guy that thought Yosemite National

Park was pronounced "yo-semite"

Hey, you know who thinks it's somewhat less wonderful?
The UN Security Council.

They're not so much there to keep peace
as they are to be an occupying force.
Which is different. How was he President?

Wonderful. Oh, don't worry, he went on to draw a racist, nonsensical parallel to immigration:

"That's the strongest peace force. We could use that on our southern border. That's the strongest peace force I've ever seen. There were more army tanks than I've ever seen. They're going to keep peace, all right."

-A man some, but at no point a majority, 

of Americans actually voted for

I hereby declare Texas independent!
Furthermore, I remove abortion restrictions, ban
assault rifles, and kids can read Maus in school.

Wait-what? Yeah, confused? Understandable because earlier in the podcast he complained about ten million illegal immigrants "bum-rushing" our souther border, which is, of course, nonsense, but whatever. Even if it were true--it's not--but even if it were, wouldn't they be the Russian tanks in this scenario? Like, Ukrainians aren't pouring into Russia, it's the exact opposite. If anything, Ukraine deploying tanks on their border would be a closer analogy. You can't just declare someone else's country independent. That's not how countries work.

So fine, Trump goes on a right-wing talk show to say dumb shit in order to return the favor to Putin for helping him win the electoral college vote in 2016. Whatever, it's literally his job right now because he lost the 2020 election. But people are still listening to him no matter how batshit, and that's what's terrifying. 

Lost an election, but gained a social media app so...there's that.

Pictured: not a cop.

Like, is it me or do Republicans at this point just take the opposite position of whatever reasonable people support? Police officers keep murdering Black people, but the right is all "Blue Lives Matter." There's a pandemic, and doctors say get vaccinated and wear a mask so the right holds rallies against mask mandates and literally applauds COVID death-rates. Some kid drives to a Black Lives Matter demonstration, murders two people and now he's their hero and getting job offers instead of prison.

So of course when an ex-KGB agent turned autocrat invades another country, the leathery, spray-tanned faced of the GOP goes on the radio to tell us all how "wonderful" it is, and of course their base eats it up. These are not reasonable people. These are lunatics still butthurt over the fact that we had a Black president one time, being stoked by a narcissistic goon into acting out because of some white nationalist's victim narrative about how they're being replaced. Look, I'm no Reagan fan, but he must be spinning in his grave.

If they keep this up, Reagan's corpse is going to rise from the dead and start
smacking Republicans in the face. Right in the face. God, I'd love to see that...