It was a Revenge of the Sith kind of year...

Wait, wait, come back. This isn't another longwinded, tired post about which Star Wars movie is the worst Star Wars movie, I'm just using it as analogy. 2021 was to Revenge of the Sith as 2020 was to Attack of the Clones, which isn't to say that 2021 was by any stretch a good year, but I am saying it was better than 2020. 

Pictured: 2020. Metaphorically speaking.

"Uh...yeah...about that..."

-Jesus, managing expectations

Traditionally and for reasons I've never been clear about, my last December post is usually a list of famous people who died over the past year. I did it as sort of a send-up of similar lists that crop up around New Year's, but at some point I think it just became one of those lists. And then last time, I skipped it, breaking a decade-long streak because, you know, we were all in the throws of a terrible pandemic and the last thing I wanted to dwell on was dead people. But hey, thank God that's over right? 

Anyway, maybe this year we should take a different approach. Instead of dwelling on who's dead and what we've lost, let's take a moment and list the good things that came from 2021. Oh, and don't bother making yourself comfortable, this won't last long. 

After a year in which we lost Ed Asner, Joan Didion, and the Archbishop Desmond Tutu
we can at least take solace in the fact that Betty White turns one hundred next month.

Narrowly averting a fascist take
over is a low bar, but I'll take it.

Sure, we did start the year with thousands of butt-hurt MAGA goons rushing the Capitol in a terrifying attempt to subvert democracy because the sexual assault enthusiast they inexplicably love so much lost. But the good news is, it didn't work. This time at least. Some of them even went to jail. Not all of them mind you, but some. Of course, it would have been nice to see some consequences for the guy who incited them and the lawmakers who helped and the news outlets who didn't repo-wait, sorry. Good things. We're going to focus on the good things. 

"Yeah, I just came down with this new
virus, you probable haven't heard of it..."

-disease hipsters circa 2019

Like the vaccine! 2020 gave us the pandemic--well, ok, technically 2019 gave us the coronavirus, hence the "19" in COVID-19. And I guess people were getting sick with it back then, but it didn't really catch on until 2020. 2021 however saw the rapid development of an mRNA vaccine. I'm not a scientist, but going from identifying a new disease to a vaccine in just over a year seems crazy fast. Of course 2021 also saw the emergence of COVID anti-vaxxers, but then dumbs have been around since the dawn of time, so I can't pin that one on 2021.

Although admittedly, this rocket
was also fairly phallic...

Oh! And the Webb Telescope, a cutting edge infrared telescope touted as the successor to the aging Hubble, successfully launched last week. Why is this a big deal? I'm glad I pretended you asked. Officially it's because it will allow astronomers to see even further back in time, to the formation of the earliest galaxies. Unofficially, I think we're all just kind of happy to hear about a space launch wasn't a phallic testament to Jeff Bezos wealth and vanity.

And then there's...uh...well. Well I suppose that's it: a reprieve from a right-wing take over, a vaccine for COVID-19, and a new space telescope. Oh, and we're all still here, right? Like, if you're reading this, you've made it through not one but two incredibly terrible years. More if you count the entire Trump administration as our national nadir--which I do, but either way, pat yourself on the back. Hope to see you again this time next year.

Did I mention that Betty White's still alive? I did? Super.*

*Update: 11:40, Friday, 12-31-21. No goddamn way. This literally just happened. I think this might be my fault...