Saturday, July 10, 2021

Today in the apotheosis of overstatement:

Yes, I know that the last post was about The Legend of Zelda, but I invite you to look at this one as less about the game and more about our appalling and broken economic system that makes $870,000 an amount anyone would find disposable. Because that's how much someone just spent on a copy of The Legend of Zelda.
I'm sure this won't come back to bite us in the coming years.
Oh right. A massive commission.
That's what they have to gain.
Ok, fine, yes, it was the original Zelda from 1987 and it is, at least according to Heritage Auctions, an exceptionally rare variant. You might remember them as the auction house that's been holding all these retro game auctions lately. They also sold a Pokémon card for $50,000 back in 2016, and a couple of six-figure copies of Super Mario Bros. One in 2019 for $100,000 in February 2019, and then another April 2020 for an offensive $660,000. So I mean, what would they have to gain by suggesting something is more rare or valuable than it really is?

Sure, everyone you love will die one day,
but if you want to talk about a real hard
truth, this copy of Zelda is like, super rate.
According to Heritage Auctions:

"Truly, the term "grail" only begins to scratch the surface of describing this game. Of all the games we've offered in our auctions, this sealed, early production copy of the first game in the groundbreaking Legend of Zelda series is no doubt the apotheosis of rarity...While it is a hard truth it is a truth nonetheless -- none of the copies we've offered of this title previously could even attempt to hold a candle to this one due to its incredibly rare variant (sic)...This matter is completely inarguable."

Saying something is the "grail of whatever"
and then finding it, makes it not the grail. 
It just makes it a thing you paid too much for.
That was...uh, I think the word is florid. And it also kind of suggests that anyone who's bought a rare game from them in the past has wasted their money, because this sale makes all previous sales look like burning garbage. And I'm no theologian, but isn't the thing about the grail is that it's supposed to be unobtainable? $870,000 is obviously an eye-watering amount of money, but I mean, clearly someone plunked down that much to obtain this game, so saying that there term "grail" is somehow insufficient to capture the significance of this--admittedly rare--video game is the apotheosis of overstatement. 

Look, I'm a huge fan of this game. It's great. And I get that Heritage isn't really speaking to the quality of the game itself, but rather the scarcity and condition of this very specific copy and that they're just trying to fluff up the bid, but it's still a game cartridge. Bestowing immortality is beyond the power of a mere video game, so maybe take it down a notch?
Although bestowing immortality is not beyond the power of a Game Genie.

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