Soliloquize like no one is watching!

I say since 2009, but in 17th century England
every day was talk like Shakespeare Day

So today, as you almost certainly know, is talk like Shakespeare day and I was thinking that-huh? Yes it is. I looked it up and-what's that? Ok, sure, it's also Independence Day in the Conch Republic, Canadian Book Day, and the Feast of Saint Adelbert of Prague, fine, but it's also Talk Like Shakespeare Day. And Shakespeare's Birthday. And his death day, because poetic symmetry. Anyway, because of that, April 23rd has been, since 2009, recognized by some--theatre nerds mainly--as Talk Like Shakespeare Day. And that's why I'm so insufferable at work one day a year. And possibly others as well.

Pictured: the glare Talk Like Shakespeare
Day usually illicit from co-workers.

But where I was going with this is that Talk Like Shakespeare Day is somewhat less exciting when you can't really go anywhere or do anything. I mean, if you're at work, you're almost certainly social distancing and wearing a mask, and dropping zounds and prithee into your office interactions is just going to add tension to an already difficult work environment. And, if you're working from home, what's even the point of talking like Shakespeare if your exasperated officemates aren't even going to ask you to shut up?

I'll tell you the point. The point is that this pandemic has taken enough from us already, and I say no more. As the playwright himself might say: the line must be drawn here.

Yeah, ok, fine. I know it's Captain Picard, but Shakespeare might 
have said it also. At some point in his life. What? You don't know...

It's a look that says: I'm
pear-shaped, yet upholstered. 

In that spirit, I'd like to offer some alternative ways you can mark the occasion. Just little things you can do which will almost certainly drive anyone you live with insane, but isn't that the true meaning of Talk Like Shakespeare Day? Let's start by dressing up in Renaissance-era costume. Shakespeare once wrote "The clothes make the man" and I think it--huh? What now? Fine, Mark Twain said that. But Shakespeare wrote "apparel oft proclaim the man" which is basically the same thing. What I'm saying is why not dress for the occasion? I mean, assuming you have some tights, or a neck ruff or maybe a even wimple lying around, now's your chance. And really, if you're reading this blog, there's a better than fifty-fifty chance you're the kind of person who frequents the Ren Faire, so it's not outside the realm of possibility that you have some period garb in your closet. 

But if that's not curling the tips of your carefully trimmed and waxed Van Dyke beard, then maybe try something super Shakespearean like, not going to the theatre. 

"Hey, works for us!"

-Americans

Sure they believed in the four
humors but look. A mask.  

If there's one thing Elizabethan England was famous for, other than Shakespeare it's--well, actually it's probably Queen Elizabeth. I mean, it's named after her. And then there's the Spanish Armada, and then maybe public executions, but a close fifth or sixth is periodic outbreaks of plague. Theatres were frequently shut down because those unwashed barbarians had no concept of germ theory, and were constantly dropping dead of the plague. That said, they still had the basic sense to shut down large gatherings during times of pandemic, making them way the hell smarter than most red state governors. So in many ways us staying indoors, bored to tears, and waiting for this all whole thing to blow over is one of the most authentically Elizabethan things we can do.

But if neither of those ideas appeals, you can just take the traditional route and talk like Shakespeare. Who cares if you're stuck at home? In fact, if you're alone, you're not just talking like Shakespeare, you're soliloquizing. And that's pretty Shakespearey. I say go for it. Who cares if no one's around to hear you? Detail all your fell deeds, your ear poisoning confessions, your rank offenses, all of it to an empty room. It is, after all, Talk Like Shakespeare Day and I say we make the most of it.

"Stars hide your fires. Let light not see how many episodes of
The Great Brittish Baking Show I've watched in one sitting..."

-Everyone