Who among us is equipped for such genius?

I'm just...like are they just writing for Saturday Night Live now? I mean, our president's genius? For serious? This from Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham who was responding to former White House Press Secretary John Kelly who, in an interview at a political conference on Saturday said that he warned the President that he may find himself on the receiving end of an impeachment which...no shit, right?

Pictured: a rare sighting of the current White House Press Secretary. Reporters
fired several rounds of questions at her but she quickly bolted for the underbrush.

Above: basically John Kelly.

Our president's genius...Anyway, according to then outgoing Chief of Staff Kelly:

"I said, whatever you do - and we were still in the process of trying to find someone to take my place - I said whatever you do, don't hire a 'yes man,' someone who won't tell you the truth -  don't do that. Because if you do, I believe you will be impeached..."

-Former Chief of Staff and 

goddamned psychic, John Kelly

Ok, so Kelly predicted impeachment the same way a calendar predicts Tuesday. Super. Like, perhaps the President's most prominent flaw-apart from you know, everything else-is his constant and insatiable hunger for the praise and adulation of others. Usually racists. 

As evidenced by the fact that he's thus far evenly divided his
Presidency between golfing and holding rallies for himself,
stopping only to fire off angry Tweets about how great he is.

Back in the action? Wait, don't most
of his advisors end up in prison?

So the suggestion that the President would hire a sycophant tracks, but the President's response was, of course, characteristically hostile: 

"John Kelly never said that, he never said anything like that. If he would have said that I would have thrown him out of the office. He just wants to come back into the action like everybody else does."

-Trump, staying in character at least

Above: Grisham, seen here basking
in the genius of her great President.

What was even more amazing was the Press Secretary's response which I can only assume was cribbed from the official North Korean Guide to Cult of Personalities. I mean, lookit:

"I worked with John Kelly, and he was totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great President."

-Press Secretary Stephanie Gris-

huh? Why are you laughing?

Oh, and if you've never heard of Stephanie Grisham until just now, don't worry, you're not alone. Despite this being the most transparent White House ever (no really, she said that), she's given I think like one press conference but doesn't do them anymore because the press, for some reason, only reports negative stories about the President.

Hey wait, you don't suppose it's because Trump is an incompetent, narcissistic goon
whose Presidency has marked a new low in American politics do you? Or maybe
the press is just out to get him. Because he's such a genius. And they're jealous.