President Sassypants!

Vote Republican, or don't. We don't
care, we just won't count your vote.

He knows what racist means, right? I ask because-huh? Yes, I'm referring to the President who in a press conference today where he bragged about how awesome the GOP did yesterday which I suppose not getting completely swept out of office despite a decade of strategic gerrymandering, voter suppression and armed militias counts as a victory. Anyway, at the press conference, the President got into it with reporters who had the temerity to ask him questions and to challenge his objectively incorrect characterization of everything.

CNN's Jim Acosta asked Trump why he characterized the starving refugees as an invasion and after some heated back and forth about how Trump thinks Acosta should shut up, the President tried to move on, but Acosta pressed and asked about the Mueller investigation. Yeah, remember that?

Pictured: President Sassypants. 

Above: people whose votes count more
than yours. (source: gerrymandering) 

You may have noticed how we haven't heard much about Robert Muller's investigation into the Trump campaign's collusion-sorry, alleged collusion-sorry again, alleged but totally real collusion with Russian intelligence, it's apparently because the Justice Department has guidelines that require him to avoid doing anything that might sway election results. And while Mueller is a rules follower, I'm pretty sure Trump's fans would think any crimes he committed were awesome. But cool, I guess it's back on.

So Acosta's question was basically about how Trump feels about the possibility of going to prison. Which, you know, seems like valid question. So here's what the guy who lost the popular vote said:

He ws born without the part of the brain
that allows him to hear himself speak.
It's quite tragic, really. You know, for us. 

"I'm not worried about anything with the Russia investigation because it is a hoax. That's enough, put down the mic. I'll tell you what, CNN should be ashamed of itself having you work for them. You shouldn't be working for CNN. Go ahead. You're a very rude person. The way you treat Sarah Huckabee is horrible. And the way you treat other people are horrible. You shouldn't treat people that way."

-Noted rude person Donald Trump

Wai-wai-wait. To be clear: Donald 'Grab'em by the Pussy' Trump, author of hundreds of angry, incoherent tweets is lecturing the press about rudeness. Cool.

"I don't understand why everyone's so mean to me. Just day after day,
 they insist I answer their questions and then when I tell them transparent
lies they get upset and accuse me of lying. They're just...rude."

-Sarah Huckabee Sanders,

the real victim here

Pictured: That time Lincoln got up
and mocked those losers in the
South for having low ratings. 

Peter Alexander, a reporter from NBC, leapt to Acosta's defense to which the actual President, the guy who currently holds the office once held by Abraham Freaking Lincoln said: "Well, I'm not a big fan of yours either." Acosta then popped up again sans mic and tossed some more questions at Trump, I think hoping to get him to Hulk out on camera. It's hard to tell what Acosta said, but I could make out a reference to the MAGA bomber. Whatever it was, the President shot back with more of his horseshit about CNN being fake news and again called them the enemy of the people. 

What's that you say? Accusations of racism? Oh, right. President Trump accused an African American woman of racism today. PBS reporter Yamichi Alcindor asked if he thought that calling himself a nationalist might embolden white nationalists. The correct answer here of course is,"My God, you're right, I can't believe my foolish rhetoric has caused so much pain and violence. Please, let me take this opportunity to definitively denounce the white nationalist movement." 

Above: Proud Boys, the white nationalist group emboldened by Trump's
rhetoric seen here being exactly what Alcindor is goddamn talking about.

The President's answer of course, was not that. Instead it was:

One out of one Kanyes West
support the President.

(source: some poll)

"I don't know why you'd say that. That's such a racist question. I don't believe that. I don't know, why do I have my highest poll numbers ever with African Americans? Why do I have among the highest poll numbers with African Americans? I mean, why do I have my highest poll numbers? I mean, that's such a racist question. Honestly? I know you have it written and you're going to tell me. Let me tell you, that's a racist question."

-A racist dodging a question about his 

racism by accusing a reporter of racism

Holy shit, did the President just pull out the 'some of my best poll numbers are black' defense? He then went on to spout some nonsensical nonsense which I'm pretty sure is a defense of nationalism as a thing:

"I'm pro-world. Big fan. I love the world."

-Trump

"You know what the word is? I love our country. I do. You call, you have nationalists? You have globalists. I also love the world. And I don't mind helping the world, but we have to straighten out our country first. We've got a lot of problems. Excuse me! But to say that is so insulting to me, it's a very terrible thing that you said."

-Nonsense, like

just gibberish

And that was the day after the midterms: valid questions about the President's behavior and direction for the country from the press and vitriolic, insane-sounding, nationalistic ramblings from the guy in charge of America's nuclear arsenal. Here's hoping we all make it to the next election. 

In case you were wondering what it looks like when a
rich white man lectures a black woman on racism.