To boldly leverage IP or whatever...

Hey, remember that twelve year span where there were no Star Trek shows on TV? It was-huh? You don't? We lead very different lives. For trekkies this was known as the dark time:

Without new Star Trek to watch, people were forced to talk,
 interact with friends, even enjoy the outdoors. I shudder to think...

Pictured: Some reason.

Between 1987 and 2005 there were like fifteen Star Trek spin-offs. Ok, slight exaggeration, but in that eighteen year period, Paramount cranked out 614 episodes of Star Trek over four different series. And then after Star Trek: Enterprise went off the air for some reason, we were left with a long, Trek-less drought. With the exception of the J.J. Abrams-verse movies, which, you know, were ok but not really canon Trek, there was no new Star Trek for fans to obsess over. But then last year we got Star Trek: Discovery, and all was right with the world.

Cool? Yes. But are you sitting down? Because you should sit down. Get this, there-would you please sit down? I really don't want to be responsible for your injuries when you are figuratively blown away by this unconfirmed rumor. Ready: Ok, here goes: there are supposedly as many as five count them five new Star Trek TV...uh...things in the works.

I should probably clarify that these are five new Star Trek shows produced
by an actual production company and not by fans with a green screen.

The internet is, after all, 78% un-
substantiated rumors. The rest is porn.

I say TV things because this announcement is kind of vague so far, but CBS the company that owns Star Trek's TV rights announced that Alex Kurtzman, the new show runner for Star Trek Discovery who took over for the previous show runners who were just fired-it's a long story, has signed a five-year contract to "expand" Star Trek for television. They didn't actually say what that meant, but because the internet, there are unconfirmed details that are floating around.

"Hey, what are you talking about? I'm
super-interested in Khan's backstory."

-No one

According to Variety's shadowy, anonymous sources or as we can safely assume: according to carefully orchestrated leaks from CBS's marketing department, Kurtzman and his production company are working on several new Star Trek-ey series. a Starfleet Academy-based series, an animated series, and two what they call 'limited' series, one is still a mystery and one is a Khan origin story which-do we need that? They floated that idea awhile back and I registered my active disinterest then so for now I'll only say this: there is such a thing as too many trips to the well.

Pictured: teens experiencing drama
and, I don't know, Terellian plague?

But a Starfleet Academy show sounds sounds fun. I mean, there's like a million CW-style genre shows right now and everyone loves teens and drama, so why not do it in space? And an animated series makes sense given the success of the two Star Wars cartoons. Anyway, that just leaves the mystery mini-series. Ok, 'limited series,' but that's just prestige TV talk for mini-series. What's that about? Are you still sitting down? Great, now you'd better buckle your nerd belt because holy shit.

The rumor about that is that it might be a continuation of Star Trek: The Next Generation with Sir Patrick Stewart reprising his role as Jean Luc-Picard which is what every TNG fan has been begging for ever since we sat through the objectively terrible send-off that was Star Trek: Nemesis.

Pictured: A scene from Star Trek: Nemesis in which Picard is menaced by
his vampiric Romulan clone who also wants to destroy the Earth...for some reason.
No really, that happens in this movie. That's why I called it 'objectively terrible.'

Above: The smug countenance of
someone who knows something we
don't and is loving the shit out of it.

Anyway, while still a rumor, it does kind of line up with a weird impromptu interview Stewart gave in London where a reporter asked him if he's seen Discovery, and he seemed to think at first that he was being asked about something else.Then he just sort of smiled knowingly and said:

"No I haven't, but I may have cause to look at it very soon."

-Sir Patrick Stewart, nerd-baiting

Of course all this is like, super unconfirmed, and all we know for sure is that things are 'in development,' and that could mean next year or never. Also, if you're counting that's only four new things and Variety mentions five, but I think it's entirely possible that the under wraps mini-series and the Patrick Stewart show are the same thing. But whatever. With only one Star Trek show on TV right now, we, as a fan base are still dangerously underserved, so I for one welcome whatever Trek they want to throw our way.

Besides, more Star Trek shows means a higher likelihood
of me getting to play Th'rah'ssk'Kdhke'll, the heroic, yet flawed
 Andorian Starfleet Captain who breaks all the rules and has
 rocking' abs-which yeah, shut up, they'll add them in post.