He, Claudius

Um, just to be clear, the President knows that there's more than like, eight people working at the FBI, right? I ask because of this:

I...I'm not sure I have words here...

The White House staff is something like 
377 people and they can't go a day without
some colossal fuck up. Not one day.

Holy shit, right? Director Christopher Wray was quick to admit that the FBI failed to act on information and promised a swift investigation, but it takes a special kind of...I don't know, unmitigated gall? Raging narcissism? Is there a word that means both of those things? Huh? No, dickweedery is too kind. Anyway, whatever it is, it takes a special kind of it for Trump to suggest that he's the real victim here. The FBI employs something like 34,000 people and any organization that large is bound to suffer breakdowns in communication, negligence and just dumb human error, right?

I mean look at all those desks, they can
investigate two, maybe three crimes at a time. 

I'm not defending them, like, there's going to be a lot of difficult questions in the coming months about their failure to follow up on a tip that might have prevented last week's massacre, but this wasn't because they were too busy looking into Russian election meddling. Again, 34,000 people. They can do two things at once. Trump's ragingly unmitigated, narcissistically galling tweet was part of a full weekend of twitter about how not collude-y he is and how this is all Obama's fault. Somehow.

"Russia started their anti-US campaign in 2014, long before I announced that I would run for President. The results of the election were not impacted. The Trump campaign did nothing wrong-no collusion!"

-The President drawing an unsupported 

conclusion and using 'impact' as a verb

"Oh! Did he say no collusion? Well that's good enough for us.
Scrutiny: over. It's a good thing that journalism is alive and well."

-The White House Press Corps

Really though, the college bookstore
sweatshirts should have tipped you off.

Uh...does he not spot the fact that Russia's efforts to meddle with the election started before he announced his candidacy doesn't actually clear him of suspicion? In fact, I think it kind of supports the idea that his preposterous bid for the White House that somehow worked against all odds and reason wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for Russian interference. It's like when you find yourself doing really well at Jeopardy only to realize at the commercial break that it was College Jeopardy all along and you're not actually a genius.

Anyway, unsatisfied with politicizing grief, the President continued with his rapid-fire tweeting. Apparently he wasn't busy doing anything else this weekend.

So like is he biologically incapable of sensing the irony here,
or does he just really think we're all that stupid? I'm genuinely asking.

"I would characterize my approach going
forward as 'making it rain indictments.'"

-Special Counsel Mueller after

visiting Urbandictionary.com

Well, he's kind of right there, they are almost certainly laughing their cynical autocratic asses off over all this, but not for the exact reason he suspects. What we do know is that Russia embarked on a two-year campaign of screwing with our democratic process and now we have an out-of-control gameshow host destabilizing our system checks and balances, undermining our intelligence agencies and using a school shooting to try and deflect some pretty valid questions about how he got the job in the first place. But we won't know how deep this goes until Robert Mueller is done handing out indictments.

So I guess what I want to know is how detached from reality is the President that this doesn't bother him? Like, even Claudius, Hamlet's dick of an uncle, soliloquizes about how he can't enjoy being king since he came by it via ear-poison-y regicide. I'm not comparing the two of course, I mean, Trump didn't kill anybody for the job and I am fully willing to accept that he's just the patsy here, but you'd think it'd get under his skin, you know?

I guess what I'm saying is that Trump is Claudius, Clinton was
Hamlet and I guess the ear poison was Russian fake Facebook
posts? Goddamnit...fine, I'll admit it's not my best analogy.