|"You know Derek, all I ask is constant validation and praise. Is that so hard?"|
|Pictured: The city of Sodom shortly after|
a local student left God out of the Pledge.
Yeah, hang on. Why is the Pledge of Allegiance still a thing we make kids do? Like are we afraid that if kids don't start their day with some weird loyalty oath that they might grow up and move to Canada or hand our state secrets over to the Soviets?
|"I won't do it! I won't give you the nuclear codes, I stood up in homeroom and I|
pledged allegiance. An allegiance to the flag. And that's one pledge I can't break..."
|Have you ever read this? Me neither.|
For all I know, Apple might own my organs.
|"We pledge allegiance to Verizon Wireless,|
because the man said we'd get ice-cream..."
Oh, and on a side note, the Pledge of Allegiance used to be recited while performing something called the Bellamy Salute (see below), a practice we dropped round about, say, 1939...for some reason. I bring this up not just to justify using this creepy picture of kids Nazi-saluting the American flag, but to illustrate the idea that the pledge, like a lot of traditions, can be changed to suit the needs of the times. Ok, mainly it's about the creepy picture, but I think my point stands.
|Above: Holy shit. I mean, c'mon, that's just unsettling.|