Rick Perry: Bringer Togetherer of People

Hey, remember that time Rick Perry, in a totally well thought-out move, compared homosexuality to alcoholism? In San Francisco? Yeah, that was great. Also, it was last week.

Above: A typical Wednesday morning in San Francisco.

Anyway, he's just apologized at a luncheon hosted by the Christian Science Monitor:*

*not affiliated with the
Christian Science Fiction Monitor.

"I got asked about issues, and instead of saying 'you know what, we need to be a really respectful and tolerant country to everybody and get back to talking about, whether you're gay or straight, you need to be having a job, and those are the focuses that I want to be involved with. I readily admit I stepped right in it."

-Governor Rick Perry, 

assuming we all idiots 

A more appropriate image would be Perry
flailing helplessly whilst buried in a pile
of the horseshit he himself has spewed.

Oh that Rick, he sure did step right in it, didn't he? 'It' of course, being the completely reasonable outrage felt by the millions of people he just insulted by implying that they need to be cured of who they are. Hmm...You know, now that I think about it, that's not really an apology. In fact, that analogy paints Perry as the victim who unwittingly found his shoes caked in eye-wateringly pungent controversy instead of the cynical politician who voiced support for homophobic junk science because it plays well in red states. How 'bout that?

The diverse tapestry of Perry's supporters:
including old white men and elderly white men.

Now check out out this surprisingly open-minded quote from the same luncheon which he follows up immediately with some state's rights bullshit, awkwardly tacked on so as not to piss off his base:

"We're an incredibly diverse mosaic of a country...A lot of these issues need to be decided at the state level."

-Rick Perry, suddenly a
bringer togetherer of people

"...but that's enough about my hateful,
ignorant comments, let's talk about jobs."

Like since when does Rick Perry care about diverse mosaics or think we need to be a respectful and tolerant country? That seems a little out of character, it's almost as if he'd prefer that we think of him not as a champion of divisive politics and anti-gay rhetoric, but instead as a consensus builder. Jobs? People love those! I've totally forgotten about his heinous conflation of homosexuality and alcoholism. Is there like an election coming up?