Monday, October 29, 2012

Gaypocalypse!

So, anyone want to take a guess at how long it will be before someone suggests that hurricane Sandy is God's punishment for gay people? A week? Maybe three days? If you said like of couple minutes, congratulations, your opinion of humanity is sufficiently low.
While the causes of hurricanes are not fully understood, we are certain that atmospheric
pressure, condensation and dudes making out are key factors (source: science).
Above: The Holy God of Israel.
Check out this shit. It's about a blog called John McTernan's Insights wherein some lunatic named John McTernan connects the dots and shows us how things like the recent drought, subsequent wildfires and now the hurricane aren't the result of meteorological phenomena but instead are happening because "...the Holy God of Israel is systematically destroying America right before our eyes." He also uses some sort of Bible math to show how the hurricane is happening 21 years after George H. W. Bush proposed some Mideast peace process and this is our punishment.

"Mr. President, with respect, you don't
have a clear agenda for destroying Isreal."
-Mitt Ronmey on the crusades
Wait, wah? Bush? I thought gay people caused hurricanes? Well, according to John McTernan, it's not just the gays and Democrats who are destroying 'murica, it's everyone who isn't John McTernan. Of course Obama and Romney are high on the list:

"Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destory Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda."
-John McTernan's crazy

So to clarify: Obama and Mitt Romney have teamed up with the pro-homosexual Muslim Brotherhood and together they will take over Jerusalem and that's why you need to stock up on canned goods. Thanks John McTernan, it all makes sense now!
"That's right, we're gay, well-dressed and have unlimited control
over hurricanes and drought. Don't fuck with us."
-Gay people

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