Peanut butter cups, but church and state

They're the cheese state, right?

And this is why we're doomed as a civilization. Well, ok, fine, one of the many reasons. I'm referring of course to this nonsense about the Cedar Grove Belgium School district's job search for a new superintendent. Why, you might reasonably ask, do you--refering to me--care about a job posting in a school district in Wisconsin? Obviously, I don't. I am, as I probably have mentioned before, a childless shut in. I do care about people getting their church peanut butter into America's state chocolate.

What? Don't eat that! You don't know
where his chocolate has been.

Yeah, I don't know why I'm reaching for a forty year old TV commercial as a metaphor anymore than I know why this woman is walking down the street eating a jar of peanut butter. What I do know is that I was enraged today by the story of the aforementioned school district including a line in their "desired characteristics" of applicants that reads "Must match the make-up of our community (conservative, christian values)." Which I mean, you can't do that. That's super-illegal, and these are educators. They should know that.

"How can we put this without sounding racist?
Oh! I know: "matches our community."

-Some focus group

What would possibly make these people think that in anno domini MMXXIV it would be acceptable to specify political view points and religion on a job po--oh, right. They 100% do know that it's illegal. They simply don't care. According to NPR, when questioned, the company the district hired to conduct the search took the line out and gave the unsatisfactory answer that that was just what the focus group came up with and it wasn't supposed to make it to the final posting.

Yes I know I bring this up a lot, but
I mean, this guy's running again so...

Which, I mean, couple of things: for one, that's not an apology, that's a we're sorry we got caught. And what's more, that's not even a promise that that's not going to be a search criteria in this listing for a public school position, it's just a suggestion that we weren't supposed to know about it. For another, what are Christian values? I mean, the conservative politics thing is bullshit. There's nothing conservative about conservative politics in 2024. These are the people who stormed the Capitol. 

Pictured: people espousing Christian values.

But for real, I know the Right likes to beat their chests about how they're the only ones practicing Christian values, but what even does that mean? Again, Sunday School is a hazy memory for me, but the list is something like: be kind to one another, love thy neighbor, don't steal or kill. Pretty basic stuff, and pretty universal. Americans of religious traditions other than Christianity and people who don't have any religious beliefs at all tick those boxes. So what are they getting at exactly?

Either "conservative, christian values" is just code for white, or these people genuinely believe that anyone not subscribing to their very specific Evangelical brand of Christianity is unworthy of consideration. Or both...it's both isn't it?

Prior public school administrative experience and an ability
to distinguish between store bought and homemade burgers
are all the qualifications a superintendent should need.